Choices
by HathorGirl
Summary: What if they only thought Jolinar was dead, and the Tok'ra found she could be healed? Would Sam agree when the catch is that she would probably have to remain her host? What about Martouf and Lantash? Rating may go up later. A bit AU. SJML
1. Surprises

Title: Choices  
Characters: SG-1, Martouf/Lantash, Jolinar, various Tok'ra both OC and canon, others  
Pairing: Sam/Jolinar/Martouf/Lantash  
Category: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Romance. Did I mention angst?  
Summary: What if they only _thought_ Jolinar was dead, and the Tok'ra found she could be healed? Would Sam agree when the catch is that she would probably have to remain her host? What about Martouf and Lantash?  
Notes 1: ~ is internal speech. Bold is symbiote speaking with symbiote voice. Story is from Sam's POV.  
Notes 2: Slight AU. Jolinar survived the ashrak attack, but the SGC didn't know at first. She is badly injured, unconscious, and healing slowly. The SGC and Sam only know that Jolinar's body is still inside Sam. All else happened as on the show, up until the time when they go to search out the Tok'ra. I am using some dialogue from Tok'ra I. We start with Sam and Martouf/Lantash in the desert, talking.  
Notes 3: Was meant to have been for Porn Battle, but due to porn fail (no smut yet), way way too long plot, and me not having it finished in time...well, you get it!

* * *

Sam POV

"Jolinar's host, Rosha, was very beautiful. She had eyes like the oceans of Marloon, hair was the colour of the sand Abydos, and her smile was, was as infectious as laughter. In fact, Rosha looked very much like you Captain Carter. You are very beautiful. You'd make a lovely new host for Selmak."

I turn away, the thought of becoming a host again...difficult to handle. Besides, can I even be a host again, if the...corpse of a symbiote is still in me? Should I tell him? Would it freak him out? Jolinar was his mate!

"I'm sorry, I…I've said something to offend you." Martouf says.

"No. Yes! It's difficult enough with just the remnants of Jolinar in here. The last thing I need is another person…symbiote…whatever." I tell him, going to sit some distance away.

"I didn't mean to upset you so." He comes to me, sitting down beside me. I again feel the odd tingling that I sense whenever a symbiote is nearby. It's disconcerting - and oddly comforting at the same time.

"It's just the thought of going through that again." I hesitate. "Besides, I don't think I can be a host again...not with the...body in there."

"Don't give it another moment's thought. It was an inappropriate suggestion. Please understand that it came...from an honest, deep desire to have Jolinar back in my life in some form."

I sigh and shake my head. I am feeling...strong emotions for him. Very strong - and confusing. "It feels like...like I'm two people. I mean, there's me, Samantha Carter, and then there's this leftover part of Jolinar that feels things like…"

"Like…?"

"Like some pretty deep feelings for you." I admit.

"Jolinar's left this imprint on your mind?"

"Yes..."

"I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable, but…" He suddenly frowns. "What do you mean...is Jolinar's body still in you? How long ago did she die?"

"I...um, a little over 3 months ago."

Martouf holds his hand over my forehead, wrinkling his brow. He bows his head and gives Lantash control again.

"**If she has been dead for 3 months, she would have been mostly absorbed by your body by now. The naquadah in her would have spread evenly out in your body. I feel it mostly here, concentrated where a symbiote would be."** He indicates my neck and back of head. "**The signal is weak, but feels like a normal symbiote, and I can sense the signal like normally...are you certain she is dead?**"

"Ye...yes..." I stammer. "Of course I'm sure!"

Lantash looks closely at me, sternly, but then he sighs and his expression becomes less hostile. "**Of course...I do believe you...your people could not know...but perhaps it is not...quite so. Would you object to letting the healers examiner you?**" his expression is desperate, pleading...hopeful.

I don't know if I hope Jolinar is dead or not. I must be crazy! Why would I want the sna...symbiote back? But Lantash and Martouf looks really heartbroken their mate is dead, and part of me want nothing but to make them happy. This must be some of those damn emotions from Jolinar, but they sure feel like they are mine. Confused, I shake my head, and Lantash looks stricken. I immediately realize he thinks I am denying him this last hope that his mate may be alive, thinking I am saying I will not let the healers looks at me.

"No, Lantash, that's not what I meant. Of course...I will let the healers check it out. See if...Jolinar might still be alive."

He looks immensely relieved, and takes my hand. "**Thank you, Samantha. I understand that all of this is confusing and unpleasant for you, but I assure you that Martouf and I will do everything we can to help you."**

I nod. "Thanks."

He is eager to know if his mate is still alive, and I cannot blame him. We get up, and return to the tunnels.

* * *

The healers have scanned me, first with what I recognize as a healing device, and then with several different devices that I have no idea what are. They also take some blood samples and other tests, and then leave to discuss the data.

Nervous, I look up as the healers, followed by Martouf/Lantash come into the room I am in. I wonder where the rest of my team is, and what the Tok'ra have told them. Why are they not here with me?

"Captain Samantha Carter..." Martouf begin.

"Listen, why don't we make it Sam? Or Samantha?" I tell him, not able to handle hearing title and whole name every time. Doesn't the Tok'ra know about nicknames? Or is that disrespectful?

"Samantha is a beautiful name. I would be honoured to call you that." Martouf says, giving me a charming smile.

"Then...do that." I say, smiling a little back.

He nods. "Samantha. The healers have told me that Jolinar still lives, but that she is very weak." He looks pained.

One of the healers speak up. From the voice I can tell it is the symbiote in control. "**Captain Samantha Carter...**" So he doesn't think the permission goes for him. Fine! He can call me with full name and title if he wants. "**Our tests show that Jolinar survived the attack by the ashrak, but only barely. She has been very slowly healing since then.**"

"Do you mean she'd have eventually woken up?" I ask.

The healers looks uncertain. "**We cannot know for certain if that will happen, or when. Her injuries are great, and she is still far from a conscious state, where she can do more than just basic, instinctual healing. We have never observed a symbiote in this situation before, however, it is our belief that she will eventually heal to the point where she regains consciousness, yes. If and when that happens, she will be able to repair the rest of the damage to her body, and survive."**

I don't know what to think of this! "So...what do I do? Can you, um, remove her? I mean, I didn't exactly volunteer for this!" I see Martouf gets a pained expression, whether because I ask to have Jolinar removed, or because I just reminded him of what his...beloved did to me. It must be hard. I feel an unwelcome stab of pain in my heart - I feel sorry for him.

The healer hesitates. "**Yes...we can remove her. However, doing so will kill her with certainty."**

I can't do that to Martouf! "What if we wait, then? Until she heals up on her own?"

"**It will be a long time, years, perhaps. During that time, if a Goa'uld captures you, he or she will sense the symbiote, and punish you as if you were Tok'ra - without the assistance of a Tok'ra to protect you. Even after Jolinar regains consciousness, it will be months or a year before she can leave you, without both of your deaths being certain. When a symbiote stays that long in a host, it has to blend or suppress the host, or both will suffer greatly, probably die. If you blend, you are unlikely to survive the psychological problems - the loneliness - if she were to leave.**"

"So that's it!?" I exclaim. "I'm damned if I do, and damned if I don't? No other solution?"

"**We can use our healing devices to heal Jolinar. It will still take some time, since her condition requires us to work slowly, and in stages.**"

"Well, do that, then!"

The healer sighs. "**Healing her in this way, when she is as damaged as this, will mean her tissues and yours will likely merge. It will take time for them to separate, which is necessary, if she is to leave you without killing you. Or both of you. By the time it is possible, you will have had to blend...if you are not already. There are certain signs of a beginning blending, even at this point, and Jolinar is not conscious to stop it."**

"And then we're back to square one!" I feel like beating someone over their head!

"**We will of course do our best to avoid or minimize any merging, but there is a 69% probability we will be unsuccessful."**

"That's not good odds!" What do I do? I really don't want to be a host. I'm still angry at Jolinar, even though I guess I am starting to understand her a little, but to become her host, permanently? Forget it!

"**No, and I do apologize." **The healer say.

Martouf has apparently given Lantash control while I did not look. Probably because the symbiote is somewhat better at controlling their emotions. Well, for a while at least. Lantash is very passionate and can be quite volatile, I know, but right now he is the one in control. I just know it, and when they speak I get confirmation.

**"Samantha, I cannot hide what Martouf and I wish. You know we would want our mate back, if there was any possibility of it. We would also very much welcome you as our mate, if you chose to remain Jolinar's host, do not be concerned about that. You are beautiful, and from what we have learned by talking to you, both kind and intelligent. You are clearly also a strong warrior of your people. A very worthy and attractive mate."** He sighed. "**However, the choice must be yours. No matter how much we want it, we cannot ask you to remain Jolinar's host, the way she ****_took_**** you. If you wish her removed, we will understand.**"

He looks heartbroken, but like he really means it when he says it. Wait, he finds me beautiful? I almost smile. Why does it matter to me what he feels? "Thanks, Lantash." I tell him. "I...think I need to think. I promise you I will not make my decision lightly."

"**Thank you, Samantha. That is all we can ask. Do you wish to have your team brought to you?**"

I almost say yes, but I know they will not understand. At all. They will tell me I am crazy to even consider this, and maybe I am, but I must admit that no matter how crazy it is, there is a part of me that is actually considering it! I don't know if it's because I am fascinated by things I could learn from Jolinar and the Tok'ra, if I feel bad about condemning a fellow sentient lifeform to death, or if I just secretly want Martouf and Lantash as my mates. God I don't hope it's the latter - that would be incredibly shallow, and I pride myself on my intellect.


	2. Selmak

As I sit in their infirmary and think, I notice Tok'ra coming and going to one of the other rooms. I suddenly remember Selmak and...and...Saroosh! We were introduced earlier. Selmak is dying and need a new host. I wonder if it would help the chances of an alliance if we got her one? Somehow I think we would need to do more than that to convince the Tok'ra to ally with us if I tell them to remove Jolinar and let her die!

I think of my dad, and wonder how he is doing. Will he be all right?

Suddenly, Martouf comes into the room again. I thought he had decided to stay away, so as not to sway my decision?

"Samantha." He sighs. "Another of your teams came through. Someone calling themselves SG-2. They bring news important for you, and I thought you should have it."

"What?" I ask, my heart suddenly beating very fast. Worried.

"It is your father. He is very ill, and dying. They wished for you to return immediately, to see him."

"I must go immediately!" I say, terrified. I get up.

Martouf shake his head, sad. "No, Samantha. Garshaw will not let you leave. Not with a living, but badly injured and unconscious Tok'ra in you. She - and the rest of the Council - fears for all our safety. You obviously do access some of Jolinar's memories, since you found us." He smiled shyly. "And you feel some of what Jolinar feels, for me. If you are blending, however unwittingly, you will know a great deal about the Tok'ra, very soon."

"And you can't risk that!" I feel like kicking the nearest chair, but it is made of crystal and rock-hard, so that would only accomplish me hurting my foot.

"No. I am sorry, Samantha."

I take a deep breath, then suddenly it hits me. "Dad can be a host to Selmak, perhaps. She can heal him, can't she?"

"Possibly, if his illness is not too far progressed. Do you believe he might volunteer?"

"I honestly don't know. Maybe. I'd like to give him the opportunity to chose, at least."

Martouf seems to consider it, then nods. "I will talk to the Council."

* * *

With the promise of a possible host for Selmak, the Council and Garshaw agrees, and soon I find myself going to Earth to talk to my dad. I am not going alone. The Colonel is coming with me, as is Martouf/Lantash - to help protect me? Jolinar? Tok'ra secrets? I don't know. I really hope they're not going to capture him at Stargate Command. It's not a place like what the Tok'ra re used to, and there is not really anything Martouf can do to protect me.

Just as we are about to walk through the Stargate, O'Neill stops us. "Listen. I don't know what the _hell_ is going on, or why we haven't been allowed to talk to Carter - or even what _you_ are doing here!" He looks pointedly at Martouf. "However, I do know one thing. The snake in Carter is apparently still alive, somehow. That means the NID - that's some bad guys on my world - are going to be really interested in getting their hands on her. None of us wants that, so for now we are keeping our mouths _shut_ about Jolly's survival. Okay?"

"I understand, sir." Martouf says.

"Good. And you tell Hammond you're an official representative _immediately_, if you don't want to be the NID's next desirable object! And don't let the snake come forward unless asked to, okay?"

Martouf frowns, but seems to understand. "As you wish. It is your world."

"Good. Then let's get going!"

* * *

It went surprisingly well - no one discovered Jolinar, Martouf and Lantash were also not discovered or captured, and my Dad agreed to come talk to Selmak and consider becoming a host. General Hammond even agreed to it!

When we stepped out from the wormhole on the other side, back on the Tok'ra planet, we were surprised that no guards met us. Martouf looked very concerned, and we soon learned he was right to worry; the Tok'ra were evacuating since Goa'uld System Lords were on their way to attack.

Martouf took me and my Dad to the healer's rooms, while O'Neill left to help with the evacuation, as that was what SG-2 and Daniel and Teal'c were doing. Maybe this will increase the chances that we can get an alliance? If Dad decides to be host to Selmak, I'm sure that will help too!

With all of this I don't exactly have a lot of time to think about what to do.

* * *

Dad has decided to become Selmak's host. I'm happy, but worried. Selmak is weak from keeping Saroosh alive, and can't promise they will survive, but at least Dad has a chance this way. I refuse to think about the fact that he will be Tok'ra, I'm not ready to think of that yet.

O'Neill discovered a spy, Cordesh, and the Tok'ra are grateful for that.

Now the last of the evacuation is going on, and people are leaving. Selmak is still working at healing Dad, and can't be moved. What she needs to do is not something that can be helped with a healing device - though I guess they could re-infuse her with some extra strength with it or so. However, apparently the fact that she is not yet blended with him means it is dangerous. Some of their best healers might _just _be able to pull it off, but everyone is evacuating.

Everyone but Dad and me - and Martouf/Lantash, who kindly has offered to stay and keep guard, should the Goa'uld arrive before Dad is healed. There wouldn't be a whole lot he could do, if more than a few Jaffa arrive, and I don't understand why he will do this for us. He even offered to stay and let me leave. I suppose he is just a very nice and sweet man.

I feel bad about even considering having his mate removed - and condemning her to death. I'm not sure I can do it, but if I don't, I'll almost certainly be a host, permanently. Can I handle _that_?

Not only would I be a host, share my body with another lifeform - someone who is biologically Goa'uld, and whom I know can do all a Goa'uld can, whether she would normally want to or not - but there is also Martouf and Lantash. I would be their mate. Lantash has already told me they would accept me, so that would not be a maybe.

Can I handle that? I throw a glance at him. He looks cute, despite the worried look on his face. Cute and sad. He is of course concerned the Goa'uld will arrive before Selmak heals Dad. Also that the fate of his mate will soon be determined, by someone coming from a people who obviously does not feel being hosts is something they usually can agree to.

Then it hits me. That is not all. They are not only worried for the possible death of their mate - they are grieving the death of their other mate! Rosha! Regardless of what happens, _she_ is dead, and here he is sitting, keeping _me_ comfortable!

"Martouf?"

He turns to look at me. "Yes, Samantha?"

"I'm sorry... about Rosha. I never met her, I wish I had."

He nods. "Thank you. We were thinking of her. Her and Jolinar, and our time together."

I feel terrible for not thinking of that - for being the one not thinking of the host! My heart aches for Martouf and Lantash, and I want to go throw my arms around him and comfort him. But I don't. I feel too awkward and unsure - and like I would be intruding on a private time. Besides, how can he treat me so civil? For all he knows, I am plotting the death of his other mate right now!

"Martouf..." I get up and take his hand. "I..."

Before I have a time to say anything else, Dad - or Selmak - awakens and sit up, looking around.

"**Should we not make our escape?"** Selmak says.

Martouf smiles. "We should."

"Wait..." I know it's silly, but I need to know. "Is my Dad in there?"

Selmak bows her head, and soon my Dad looks up. He looks confused, groggy, but it's him!

"I'm here, Sammy. Oh man, talk about your hangover."

"How are you Dad?"

"I'm awful. Headache the size of Kuwait. There's too much stuff in here."

Ah, he and Selmak has blended. I haven't felt like that, but then I was healthy when Jolinar took me, and the memories have more like just flown into my mind. I get memory flashes though, and sometimes I'm uncertain what is me and what is from Jolinar. Who am I kidding, that's how it is much of the time! Maybe it would help if Jolinar was back with me, conscious and helping me? Would I know which memories where which then?

"Careful!" I say, as Dad gets off the bed.

"Whoa!"

Is something wrong? I feel alarmed immediately. "What?"

Dad just laughs and jumps up and down a little, shaking his hands.

"No more arthritis! Holy Hannah! No more arthritis!"

Several explosions can be heard, and I'm guessing the Goa'uld will be down here soon. We all look up. We better get out of here - and soon!

"We should make our leave as soon as possible. This way." Martouf says.

* * *

We ran through the collapsing tunnels, and got to the ring transporters, and used them to go up. Strangely, they disintegrate now. I wonder if Martouf has given some command for them to do that?

Quickly, we run to the Stargate, and dial out - to Earth! I tell the others to wait, and send the signal with my GDO, then we go through. Or rather jump through, as deathgliders fire at us.

We're not hit, but it's still rather painful to tumble down the hard metal ramp at Stargate Command. I really wish they'd put something softer here!

Dad - no, it's Selmak again - goes to talk to General Hammond. Apparently the Tok'ra needs to go to their new world, and finish the construction of the tunnels there, then move on to a world Cordesh did not know of. That makes sense, I guess.

But what about me? Do I stay here, or do I go with the Tok'ra? I need to tell Hammond about Jolinar, I guess.

Dad has offered to be a liaison between the Earth and the Tok'ra. Him being with the Tok'ra...it's perhaps one more reason I might consider going there. I would like to talk to him some more. I almost lost him, after almost not talking to him for years. I decide I need to go with the Tok'ra - at least for a while, until I have decided what to do. I turn to Martouf.

"Martouf - I need to talk to General Hammond, and explain to him about Jolinar...and ask for some leave. I'm coming with you guys, until I can figure out what to do. Is that okay, you think?"

"I am certain it is. You are - at least for now - one of us. However..." He frowns. "We must leave quickly, I do not know if there is time for you to converse with your leader. I shall confer with Garshaw."

I nod. "Okay." While Martouf goes to do that, I approach Hammond, feeling very unsure how to say this. "Sir?"

"Captain." He acknowledges.

"Um, can I talk to you - privately?"

He gives me a look that tells me he finds it strange, but he nods. "Come this way."

* * *

It was difficult to get Hammond to accept that I needed to go with the Tok'ra, but finally he understood my problem, and I have been allowed to leave with them. I just need to find my team, tell _them_ what this is all about, and ask one of them to water my plants. At least my cat is not a problem - it's with the Tollan.

When I return to the gateroom, all the Tok'ra have left, except for Martouf/Lantash, who are talking to my team members. Uh-oh, O'Neill is _not_ looking happy, and then I hear Lantash talking to him.

**"Samantha told me she wishes to accompany us, and remain with the Tok'ra until such a time when she has decided if she wishes to remain a host or not. Truly, it is the only rational decision, as the healers would have to help her, regardless."**

"Why would she even _consider_ remaining a host? How difficult can it be? She want the thing _out_, of course!" O'Neill exclaims. "Who in their right mind would want to be a host, if you're healthy and don't have to?"

"Jack..." Daniel tries to reign in O'Neill before he insults the Tok'ra further.

Lantash glares at O'Neill for a moment, then bows his head and gives Martouf control.

"I would like to point out that I was completely healthy when I choose to become Lantash's host!" Martouf looks at least as angry with O'Neill as Lantash.

I hurry to approach them. "Um, hi guys! Uh, thanks for waiting for me, Martouf - or what did Garshaw say?"

He takes a deep breath, and his expression softens. "Hello, Samantha. Garshaw agreed with your suggestion, though she and your father had to leave. I remained behind to take you to the new Tok'ra base. Are you ready to leave?"

"Ah, yes, soon." I give my friends embarrassed looks. "I just need to talk to my team."

"Carter! You can't seriously be considering remaining a host! What did they do to you? I mean, last we checked, Jolinar was dead, wasn't she?" O'Neill demanded.

"Um, we thought she was, but apparently she's not - and she's slowly healing. Listen, it's a long story, but please understand that whatever I decide, I need the Tok'ra healers to help me."

"Yeah, Martouf explained most of it, and it makes sense you need to go and have them remove the symbiote - we just didn't know what to make of it all when Martouf said you weren't sure you _wanted_ it...her removed. If you really meant you'd maybe be...Tok'ra." Daniel said, looking completely uncomprehending. Which made sense, given what happened to Sha're.

"I'm not sure it's a good idea you go on your own. I mean, we...I guess...trust you." O'Neill looked pointedly at Martouf. "But you can't claim to be exactly objective about this - I mean, Jolinar is one of your kind."

So Martouf hadn't told them Jolinar was his mate. Probably a good idea. "My Dad is there too. If you don't trust the others, you do trust him, don't you?" I ask.

"Yeah, yeah sure."

"Listen guys, I really need to do this, and I think I need to do it on my own. I promise to contact you as soon as I've figured it all out, okay?"

"Of course, Captain Carter." Teal'c says. "We will support any decision you make."

"Thanks, Teal'c." I sigh. "Um, can you guys look after my house...my plants and stuff? Just for some...weeks?" I look at Martouf.

"Regardless of your choice, it will not take longer than that." He confirms.

"Okay. Weeks, then. I need to go get some clothes and other stuff, and then I'm ready to leave." I tell Martouf.

"There will be clothing you can use at the Tok'ra base." He looks at me, "But I understand if you wish to bring some of your own things."

* * *

It is almost evening when we are finally ready to leave for the Tok'ra. My team members are not. happy. and I'm feeling awkward and sad. It feels final, even though I know it's just for a few weeks. I'm not leaving Earth, I'm just going...to live with some aliens on their base for some time. Some aliens which are able to take you over so you never surface again! Of course, I know they would never do that! I reprimand myself.

I look at Martouf, and my heart beats faster as he smiles at me. He will be there with me. I sigh. Jolinar's feelings or my own - it feels like I am falling in love, and I don't want to.

Cassandra was unhappy when I told her I was leaving, even if maybe only for a few weeks. Janet told me to be careful, then smiled and told me that I needed to know for myself what I wanted. She then teased me with Martouf - how did she pick up on that so quickly? I barely know myself that I am falling for him!

I shake my head at myself, then turn to Martouf again. "I'm coming."

* * *

"Is this the Tok'ra base world?" I ask, looking at a fairly lush forest.

"No, this is merely a stopover world. I am sorry, but the world the base is on is secret, and the Council does not yet feel your people can be trusted to know of it. He looks embarrassed. "Also, I must ask you to wear this." He shows me a blindfold. "If you decide not to remain Tok'ra, it would be safer for all of us, including yourself, if you do not know the address."

I sigh, but I guess I understand. "Okay." I let him put the blindfold on me. He checks that it is covering my eyes completely, then take my hand and lead me to the DHD. He dials, then we walk through together, him leading me.

When we have stepped out on the other side, he again removes the blindfold. "We have arrived on the world of my base."

"Okay..." I look around at dunes, and some large rock formations.

"The planet is called Vorash." Martouf tells me.

I nod. "Okay." I feel stupid. Why can't I think of anything better to say?

We have only walked a short distance when guards jump up from the ground and surround us.

"Greetings. Welcome back, Martouf and Lantash." A young man says. He has blondish hair, and I have a vague feeling I know him.

"Hello, Aldwin. This is Samantha, currently host to Jolinar." He introduces.

Aldwin bows his head. "Hello, Samantha, and welcome. The healers are expecting you." He hands Martouf a small device.

Does the whole base know? I wonder how my _Dad_ reacts to all of this!

"Um, thanks. And hello, Aldwin." I nod at him, and at the other Tok'ra guards, and they return my greeting.

The guards go back to their hiding places, and Martouf takes me to the ring transporter. This time I notice the distinct naquadah signature, and I have some idea how they know where the entrance is. I am guessing the device Aldwin gave Martouf, controls the ring transporter.


	3. Jolinar

I am again in the healers rooms. The base is almost a copy of the other one, at least I can't see any differences. I guess that makes for some feel of home, even when you have to evacuate often.

Martouf/Lantash has left to allow me to think things over on my own. I think he said something about being sent on a mission also. My dad is resting after the blending and healing. I am quite alone in this room.

The more time I spend with Martouf and Lantash, the more I am convinced I cannot cause them the pain I would by having Jolinar removed. More than that, I think _I_ don't want her gone. Mostly because I think I am falling in love with Martouf/Lantash. Whether that comes from Jolinar or not, I don't know. I also don't know if I really want to stay with the Tok'ra, if a relationship with an...alien, can work out. But I would be an alien too, wouldn't I?

I push all of this aside. It is for later. All I know is that I _can't_ cause Martouf and Lantash the grief I would if Jolinar died, and I could have prevented it. All else is for later. Maybe, the healers are able to heal us so that Jolinar can leave, as soon as she is well enough?

One of the healers - Pilka, I think is his name - comes into the room. "**Samantha Carter, have you made your decision?"** He looks as if he is certain I have - and that I will _not_ be a host.

"I... yes. Yes, I have. I'm going to let you treat Jolinar, and then we'll see how it goes."

Pilka looks surprised, but quickly recovers and smiles. He is obviously happy with my decision. "**You understand that there is a fairly high probability that it will mean you will be a permanent host?"**

I nod. "Yes." I close my eyes for a moment. "It's the only right choice."

He looks relieved. "**We are all thankful to you for making this decision. Please, come with me, and I will help you get ready for the first treatment."**

"Err, yes. I just need to go talk to Martouf and Lantash before they leave on a mission. Okay?"

"**Of course." **Pilka furrows his brow. "**It may be a good idea. I was under the misunderstanding that you had decided ****_not_**** to be a host, and I told him that when I met him earlier."**

* * *

I hurry to their room, and find that there is no one there, but signs of someone having packed a bag recently. I run to the ring transporters, and spot Martouf/Lantash with two other Tok'ra.

"Martouf! Wait!" I yell.

He turns to see me, a sad expression on his face. "Samantha." He stops. "I apologize, but I am needed on this mission. We will have to leave quickly, as it is a matter of life or death. It should only be a few days before I am back." He bows his head and his eyes flash when he looks up.

**"Pilka informed us of your decision. We...accept it, but you cannot expect us to be unaffected. If you are still here when we return, we can...talk."** Lantash turns and hits the button to activate the ring transporter before I can say anything more. His eyes are suspiciously shiny, as if he is trying to suppress tears.

"No! Lantash!" I stare at them as they are transported away by the ring transporter. Why did I not get back a little quicker? Why did Pilka tell them I didn't want to be a host? Dammit! How could they think I would just let Jolinar die?

Feeling helpless and pained that Martouf and Lantash are angry at with me and sad, I return to the healers rooms. I comfort myself with the knowledge that Martouf/Lantash will be back soon, and with any luck, Jolinar will be awake and on the way to be healthy by then.

* * *

The healers are working on me several hours a day. I have been given drugs that strengthens the symbiote, and the healers use healing devices on Jolinar for periods of up to half an hour, then take breaks. They spend a lot of time scanning her and discussing how best to treat her. I know it is partially in an attempt to make it so Jolinar will not fuse to me, and will be able to leave me quickly, should I wish it. I am grateful.

Apparently Jolinar needs to recover some on her own in between healing bouts, which is also why they only work on her for a total of maybe four hours a day, including the scans.

By the third day, I sense _something_. Jolinar is not quite conscious, but it is clear that she is getting much better, and that it won't be long before she awakens.

I feel somewhat...no, a _lot_ worried. Nervous. I mean, I know she is Tok'ra and all, and I do...trust her. But how will she react? How will _I_ react, to suddenly having her back in my head?

It's also strange to be here with the Tok'ra. Part of me feels it is alien, but a very large part of me feel...home, when I look at everything. I recognize a lot of people, even if I can't always remember their names. People are nice enough to me, but I still feel outside. The others are unsure around me - thankful I agreed to do what could be done to save Jolinar, but not quite understanding why I won't remain her host. I am realizing it will be dangerous for Jolinar to leave me. Even if she is strong and healthy, and it's doubtful she will wait until she is completely strong enough. She is rash and self assured and will not stay in an unwilling host longer than necessary.

It's also difficult to find new hosts. The Tok'ra often fail in their attempts to find one, even though they look for hosts most of the time, to have some in reserve should someone be wounded and need a host. Very few people want to be hosts.

I can understand. I certainly don't want to be a host, and wouldn't have chosen this...though is that still the case? Could I accept being host?

I really wish Martouf and Lantash were here. Why are they not back? Shouldn't they be back? What did they say, a few days? I really really hope they are safe. I worry for them.

My dad isn't here either. He had to go on a short mission too, though he spent some time talking to me first. He is still getting used to things, but having a symbiote - a conscious one - apparently does wonders to help you feel at home here. He's doing much much better than me. Understandably, he's a bit freaked over my experiences with Jolinar - and Selmak is angry with her - and over my perhaps relationship with Martouf and Lantash. I think he's going to have a stern talk with them, poor guys, when he returns from his mission.

It's obvious to me that the Tok'ra are short on people, and have to send out operatives that it would be better to wait and not send out yet. Or at all. Martouf and Lantash rarely go on missions, though this is a short and fairly harmless one. Selmak hasn't been going on missions for years, so she is happy to get back to doing so. I hope she and dad will be safe. They seems to get along well, though, and that is good. I am happy about that.

I miss Earth, my friends - particularly my team...and Janet.

* * *

It's afternoon the next day. I have finished the treatments for today, and have just eaten an early dinner. I have decided to take a quick bath in the pools. It's relaxing and I hope to get some sleep afterwards. The treatments and healing take some out of me too, and I am tired. I am considering going to borrow Martouf/Lantash's private pool, which they shared with Rosha/Jolinar. It's Jolinar's too, so in a way it would be okay. And it would be nice to be alone for a little while. However, it feels very wrong to go to Martouf/Lantash's quarters...and a bit like I am presuming they will accept me as their mate. If I remain host to Jolinar I will be, almost certainly. They said they would not mind. Would I mind?

Difficult to answer. I like them...a lot. More than I had imagined after knowing them for so short a time. I am falling in love with them, but I had already realized that. Is Jolinar awakening making the feelings stronger? Probably not. They said she has not been blending with me yet.

~**Samantha?~**

I almost jump out of the water as the voice speaks. I look around, seeing no one. In my head! The voice is in my head! ~Uh...Jolinar?~

~**Yes, Samantha. I am Jolinar. We are...in the tunnels?~**

She sounds a bit...confused? I suppose I can't blame her!

~We are.~ I confirm, feeling very apprehensive. I am _really_ not sure how to react to her.

~**You do not need to be afraid. As I told you earlier, I am Tok'ra.**~ She hesitates. ~**Of course, you know that - since we are in the tunnels. I...seem to have trouble remembering what has happened.~** She confesses. ~**The last I remember, you were screaming at me...that I was an evil Goa'uld, and to get out of you as fast as possible, and now you seem calm - and we are with the Tok'ra?~**

~I...suppose that pretty much sums it up, yeah. You don't remember the ashrak?~ I ask, surprised.

~**Ashrak? No, I most definitely do not.~ **When she says the next, she sounds apprehensive. "**Samantha, I realize we are not blended...I have no idea what has happened, but...may I see your memories?**~

I hesitate. ~Um...~

~**Just of the time after I...after you became my host.~** She sounds ashamed. ~**I remember what I did. I took you against your will. That can never be excused! I will leave you as soon as possible!**~

~I...yes, you can look at those memories.~ I say, not sure how to explain it all to her. Perhaps it is easier if she just looks at all that has happened since. ~About three months has passed. You can look at that time as well.~

~**Thank you.~** She sounds honestly grateful - and as if she would not have looked at my memories if I had not allowed it. I think I _can_ trust her...which is also the feeling I had gotten, but it is nice to have it confirmed. ~**My memories seems...confused. Jumbled.~**

~You were...very nearly dead. Actually, my people thought you were. We didn't know you were still alive until we found the Tok'ra...but that will all make better sense when you have seen my memories.~

* * *

~**My poor beloveds! They thought I was dead! They...think I will be dead! That idiot Pilka! I will get him for this!**~ She suddenly 'freezes'. **~My loved ones have not returned yet? They are a day overdue? They are not experienced in undercover work, they could be in danger! We must go find them, immediately!~**

~Ah, Jolinar...you're not exactly well yet. You only just woke up after three months of being almost-dead. The healers won't let you go anywhere! I'm sure...I'm sure Martouf and Lantash will be fine.~ I say - realizing it is not just to reassure Jolinar, but myself as well.

Jolinar takes control and attempt to stand up, and in the process almost loses the control of my body. She catches herself - and me - and stands. ~**So...I am weak - for now. You are not. I will help you and you will be in control. We will save them. The healers can help me heal more later.~**

~Jolinar! Even I know that's dangerous! You could...I don't know, overexert yourself and become unconscious again. Or die. And what would happen to me then? Not to mention that if you - and I - are incapacitated we can't exactly save Martouf and Lantash!~

She is quiet for a few moment, then relents. ~**You are correct. We shall go to the healers and insist they heal me up further. There are drugs that will help me heal faster as well. On my own, it will be, perhaps, another weak before I am strong enough. I cannot wait that long!~**

~All right, go talk to them then!~ I say, just as much because I know she is not the type to easily get convinced to change her mind when she has set her mind on something. I am certain the healers will tell her she has to heal in slow bouts. She will listen to them, I am sure.

Fairly sure.

* * *

To my surprise, Jolinar manages to convince the healers to give her two treatments per day, of the same type they have given her one of before.

I get the feeling they do not find it completely safe, and that it increases the probability she will temporarily fuse to me, but they seems impressed with the fact she can keep control of my body enough to talk to them, as long as I do not try to take control from her.

Which I can currently, and that helps me some. It is making it easier for me to handle being a host. I know it is only a matter of time before Jolinar is strong again, and can take and keep control - and generally do what all symbiotes can; even Tok'ra are biologically Goa'uld, and could do what they do - it is just that they choose not to suppress their hosts and such.

After the treatment, both Jolinar and I are exhausted. The drug is not making it better. It is making us sleepy and somewhat nauseous. Jolinar does not even protest when I insist on going to bed, and soon we are both asleep.


	4. Preparations and Talk

Next morning, we are feeling better. The treatment helped Jolinar a lot, and she has no trouble controlling my body. I am happy she is better, and I feel the relief with her, but there is a small part of me that feels a little uneasy about this. To be honest, I am not sure I could easily wrestle control from her if I wanted to, and that scares me... even though I know it shouldn't.

Jolinar hears my thoughts, and does something strange. Suddenly it feels as if I am enveloped in a hug, and warm feelings of love surround me. It is wonderful. I feel myself relax.

~It feels... nice.~

~**It is a hug... or the mental host-symbiote version. Y****ou do not need to worry. You can trust me. I am _not_ a Goa'uld, and I will not suppress you.~**

I feel some of my anger return. ~You _did_ suppres me!~

Jolinar sighed. ~**Yes, and I regret that. Deeply. Normally Tok'ra would never do that. It was not a normal situation.~**

I snort. ~Or maybe you're not as different from the Goa'uld as you think!~

~**I am _not_ Goa'uld! I assure you, if I were, your experiences would have been _much_ different! ~**

~Really? How? Besides, if you're not Goa'uld, how would you know?~

~**A Goa'uld could squash you down so completely you would not even know you existed! Make you feel like you were drowning - or in pain - endlessly. That could be all you experienced! For years! Or taunt you with control, then snatch it away. Make you see horrors you could not even imagine. Worse, make you - or your body - do horrible things to others. Perhaps to your friends... Do you understand?~** Jolinar 'yells' at me.

I am stunned. I guess I had some vague idea, but I hadn't really made it clear to me. Put like that, what Jolinar did was very mild indeed. She only kept me from taking control, and she apologized - and attempted to talk to me again and again. ~Okay, so maybe not quite like a Goa'uld.~

**~Besides, do you have any idea how much me taking an unwilling host is unnerving the other Tok'ra? They are outraged - and some are worried.**~ Jolinar sounds bitter - and ashamed.

~They're worried that if you could do it, they could do it?~

~**Yes. Becoming a Goa'uld is the worst any Tok'ra can imagine.~**

~Becoming a Goa'uld? But aren't you Goa'uld, just with a different, I guess, philosophy?~ I ask, getting curious, against my will.

~**We are of course biologically Goa'uld, even if that is something we do not enjoy thinking of. We are however much different in philosophy. Also, most Tok'ra were born Tok'ra, by the Queen Egeria, who were originally Goa'uld, but became Tok'ra. She changed her children so they would share her philosophy and ideology. So they would want to share the body with the host, and fight oppression.~**

Something in what Jolinar says make me think she is not telling me the whole story. ~Jolinar...you were not originally Tok'ra, were you?~

~**No, Samantha. I was Goa'uld...and not just any Goa'uld. I was a full System Lord. That is also something that means the others - though respecting me - feels my transgression shows I am not a 'true' Tok'ra.~**

I must admit that for a while I am shocked. And maybe even scared. While I _did_ originally assume the Tok'ra were Goa'uld who changed, I also assumed they were minor Goa'uld, with little influence. Not someone that actually had much to say among the Goa'uld. Maybe, ah, failed Goa'uld in a way - some that were too gently or had too little power-lust to make it among the other Goa'uld. Now I learn most of them are born this way, that their queen _changed_ them! Impressive, by the way. But Jolinar is not one of them...and she was a System Lord! Like Ra or Apophis! Should I be afraid of her? This certainly explains some things...I think she appears more..._fierce_? perhaps, than the others. Someone like Lantash is, while fiery, gentler...not as stern. He can be hot-headed, but also sweet and kind. He does not seem very Goa'uld, but something about Jolinar does... I realize this is not fair. She is not like the Goa'uld. She may once have been, but she is not now. Maybe it is all just personal differences, though. Garshaw is that way too. ~Listen, Jolinar...you should not be ashamed. You are not...~

~**Garshaw was a Goa'uld too, so that is not a good example.~ **Jolinar sighed. ~**However, you are correct. It may not be the reason. It could be individual, as you say. Egeria was kind and forgiving, despite being born Goa'uld.~**

~Whatever the reason is, you changed yourself. That's impressive!~

~**Thank you.~** Jolinar says, sounding like she does not feel she is excused.

* * *

After the two next treatments, the healers are satisfied that Jolinar is sufficiently well that she does not need any more treatments. They can even tell me that they were successful and managed to heal her up without her being fused to me. She can leave me! However, in order to safely leave me, she must wait another day. Then she will go into a tank and wait for a host. That can take a long time, but at least she will be alive, right? Martouf and Lantash will not lose their mate.

Wherever they are.

They are several days overdue now. No one knows where they are. Jolinar has asked the Council to send someone to look for them, but the Council is not worried. Missions does not always go as expected, and it can easily be even weeks - or sometimes months - before operatives are able to contact their base. that happens, and Jolinar knows it.

It does not make her less worried. Also, I am worried as well. I am not sure if it is because Jolinar's worry bleeds over to me, if it affects my body, or if I feel it myself. I suspect it is a combination.

Never mind. Tomorrow Jolinar will be gone, and I will be going back to Earth. All will be back to normal - or so I hope. I feel I deserve that, after all of this.

Hopefully, Jolinar will get a host soon. Someone that Martouf and Lantash will like. Hopefully they will be back soon.

If they come back.

I shake the unpleasant thoughts off me. I also find that I do not like the idea of someone else being Martouf and Lantash mate, but I chalk that up to feelings that have bled through from Jolinar. I am sure I will be myself and be able to put all of this behind me when Jolinar is gone and I am back on Earth.

Currently, Jolinar is in deep sleep, to allow her body to adjust completely after the treatments - and to prepare to leave me.

I feel alone. Part of me miss talking to Jolinar, but we have fought a lot since she woke up, so part of me is relieved too. Also, this way _I_ am in control, and need not worry she will grab control from me or listen in on my thoughts.

Not that I truly believe she would do any of that, but I suppose I need to tell myself all of this.

* * *

Early next morning, Jolinar is awake before me. I get the feeling that is unusual, that she is usually a fairly late and heavy sleeper, but neither of us have slept well. Bad dreams. About horrible things that could be happening to Martouf and Lantash.

**~Samantha...I have been thinking. We should have heard something, from either Martouf and Lantash, or one of the others in their group. They're almost a week overdue, with nothing heard from. The mission should have been simple, harmless. I have a very bad feeling. Something horrible has happened, I just know it. They must have been captured by some Goa'uld. That is the only thing that makes sense.**

I feel the hairs stand up, and a chill run down my spine. Jolinar is saying what I have been thinking, fearing. But what can we do? ~We don't know that, Jolinar. I'm sure there is a perfectly normal, harmless reason we haven't heard from them. Maybe the Stargate is out of order?~ I try to reassure her.

Jolinar snorts. **~You do not believe that anymore than I do.~**

~No.~ I admit. ~But what can we do?~

**~We can go search for them!**~ Jolinar insists.

~Whoa! Jolinar, as much as I want them to be okay - you are _leaving_. Today. Okay?~

**~Samantha...would it matter so much if I stayed for a short time longer? I cannot know when I get a new host, and in that time Martouf and Lantash could be killed! Please, I beg you!**~

I mentally take a deep breath. What do I do? I have been looking forward to Jolinar leaving. At least I have been telling myself that. What about Earth? My friends, my team mates? ~Couldn't someone else go look for Martouf and Lantash?~ I suggest.

**~I am doubtful the Council will spare the resources...but I shall ask.**~

~Jolinar...you don't think they'll agree to it - you were going to go look for them without their permission!~

She sighs. **~You are correct. It has been many centuries since the Council would send anyone on rescue missions, unless there are other more pressing reasons. Too many have been killed on such missions, often more than have been saved. We are few, and cannot spare the resources. So, I will spare them the problem and go myself.**~

~They will punish you when you come back - won't they?~ I ask, knowing it is true.

~**Probably. I will likely be sentenced to some years in a tank, but at least my loved ones will be safe. That is all that matters. Please, Samantha, you cannot claim it does not matter to you. You feel for them too! I can sense it.~**

I sigh. ~I do, yes. That is the problem. I need you out of me, need to return to Earth, before my feelings for them are too strong. Jolinar, please ask the Council.~

* * *

She talked to the Council, and predictably they said no. Both to sending someone to look for Martouf/Lantash and the others with them, and to allow Jolinar to go - which she asked for even if I had said I wouldn't go!

I am angry at Jolinar, for offering to go without my consent. For assuming she can convince me. She probably can, but that's not the point!

However, I can also understand her. She loves Martouf and Lantash very much. To be honest, the only ones I am really angry at are the Council!


	5. Choices and Decisions

Jolinar has been quiet for several hours, and I don't feel like talking either. We have eaten a little, and bathed, but done little else. I have left Jolinar in control - soon she will be in a tank, so that is the least I can do. She has talked to one or two friends, but it is awkward.

It is time, now, and Jolinar has given me control. I am on my way to the healing chambers, to have the healers help Jolinar leave me, and go into a tank. She has asked for two of her friends that are healers assistants to be the ones to help her, and it has been granted. I am relieved that it is not Pilka. I don't like him. On the other hand, Jolinar's friends will not like me for making her leave me.

I push the thoughts away. Afterwards, when Jolinar has left, the healers will repair any damage quickly - and Jolinar will tell my body to heal faster as well, before she leaves.

Jolinar is silent, preparing for the process. She has closed herself off completely, and it feels like I am already alone. There are no other thoughts flitting to my mind than my own. I barely sense anything but myself. Soon this is how it will be all the time. It should be a relief, but strangely it is not. Part of me already misses her. Am I crazy?

Another thing - my heart is heavy with fear for Martouf and Lantash. What if they really are captured? What if their only chance of escape is Jolinar and me rescuing them? Can I stand to know that I may have doomed them?

No, I can't. I realize that if hear in a few weeks or months that Martouf and Lantash were never found, or if they had been killed - after weeks or months of torture - then I would not be able to handle it. Not at all. Especially not knowing I could maybe have done something so it didn't happen.

I make a decision, feeling insane as I do it. ~Jolinar?~

It takes a while before she responds. ~**Yes? Is it time?~**

~No. I...Jolinar, I can't do this. What if we are Martouf and Lantash's only chance? We need to rescue them! And I can't do that alone. I have no clue where to go. I need you.~

Jolinar is so surprised - and relieved - that it is several moments before she answers. ~**Then that is what we will do. Thank you, Samantha. You have no idea how grateful I am. I promise, I will leave you as soon as we return. If we work swiftly, it should still be possible.~**

I don't mention that I am not even sure if I want her to leave. There will be time for that later. Time for those decisions. ~What do we do?~

~**The Council would not agree to let us leave on this mission. However, they ****_will_**** allow you to return to your people. We must - somehow - convince them I have left, and you are leaving for home immediately.~**

~How? Can't they sense you?~

~**Yes, unless I use a compound like the one the ashrak that tried to kill me used. The healers will know how to produce it.~**

~And since the healers present will be your friends, they will not mind helping you with this!~

~**They will agree to a, ah small deception, I am sure. I will make sure to make it clear to the Council when I come back, that my friends are not to be punished.~**

* * *

Jolinar talked to her friends, and managed to convince them to hide the fact that she had _not_ been removed from me. It took some convincing, and they insisted on talking to me as well, to be certain that I actually agreed with this. They know how much Jolinar loves her mates and what she would do to save them!

Then, they mixed the compound that is used to mask the energy signature of a symbiote. We have gotten an injector-vial with ten doses from them. We need to take one every 24 hours, in order for Jolinar to remain masked. She believes it will be an advantage when we are to be undercover, looking for Martouf and Lantash, since that means we can hide as a human slave. We can return dressed as a Goa'uld, if that turns out to be needed. 10 doses will hopefully be enough to find and save Martouf and Lantash!

We take the first dose and wait for it to become fully active. Then I leave the healers chamber, to go to pick up my own uniform and dress in that. We are leaving for Earth, as soon as I have talked to the Council and told them I am leaving.

I wish we did not have to go to Earth. It will be difficult to escape from there, especially since I will not be allowed on any missions soon, I suspect. However, that is the only plan we have been able to come up with.

* * *

We have sent the IDC from the GDO the Tok'ra have been given, and after receiving an okay, I give the GDO to a Tok'ra guard. He nods at me, and I walk through the even horizon, thinking about the reactions of the other Tok'ra. They are angry with Jolinar for having taken me as an unwilling host, they feel compassion with me for that, they are happy and surprised I allowed Jolinar to be healed - but there are still those that are angry that I made her leave me. As they think. I wonder how they will react when they learn I haven't, and that Jolinar and I have run off on a mission we were not allowed to go on? Will the Council be angry at me as well? Jolinar thinks she will be punished with years in a tank, but if I remain her host, that will not happen. They can't put me in a tank. But they can punish us both, I guess, but that would have to be with some sort of demotion or hard work, dangerous mission, perhaps? I don't know. That is thoughts for later.

I greet my friends from the SGC, including the rest of SG-1 who quickly run to the gateroom when they hear I have arrived. I smile at them, glad to see them, but too worried for Martouf and Lantash to be as happy as I otherwise would.

"Sam!" Daniel smiles at me, then gives me a hug. Somewhat awkwardly, I hug him back.

"Hi, Daniel." I give him a smile, then turn to smile to the others. "Colonel, Teal'c... General."

"Welcome back, Captain Carter." Hammond smiles as well.

"Yeah, good to see you, Carter. Is the snake gone?" Jack says.

"You have been missed, Captain Carter." Teal'c bows his head to me.

"Thanks guys! I missed you too!" I say, then Jolinar urges me to lie. "The Tok'ra healer had Jolinar's removal scheduled for this morning, and after a few check-ups, they said I was good to leave for home. My throat is not even sore." I say, hope the half-truths will appease them.

"That's good to hear, Carter!" Jack smiles. Daniel smiles too, as does Teal'c. "Do you think you're up for a little trip? Tuplo has invited us to his daughters wedding, and I didn't think we could say no. There'll be cake!"

"Cake, sir?" I smile, trying to remember who Tuplo's daughter was. The illness I had gotten on the Land of the Light meant most of that mission was a blur. "Oh, yeah, his daughter's name is Melosha, right?"

"Yep, that's her."

"Okay, when?"

"We were actually leaving in about an hour, but are you sure you fell up to it?"

"Absolutely!" I say, urged on by Jolinar. This is an excellent opportunity to get away! "I just need to report in with General Hammond - and change this!" I touch my not particularly clean BDU. "I hope it's not any sort of dress code?"

"Oh, it is - but nothing we need to worry about. We'll be dressed in 'suitable clothes' when we arrive." Jack grinned. "Seems they don't trust our clothing style!"

* * *

Somewhat to my surprise, Hammond agrees to let me go with the rest of my team! My dad must have done a good job convincing them the Tok'ra can be trusted, since they trust me without insisting to check if I am still a host! I hope me and Jolinar running off will not harm the trust between our peoples too much - I think an alliance would be very important.

Jolinar keeps quiet and allows me to handle everything here. Partly I think she feels indebted to me for letting her stay longer, and partially it's because I already know these people. Of course, Jolinar is also deep in thought regarding planning our mission.

As soon as we arrive, we are taken to be bathed and dressed in local finery. I think I look a little funny in the dress they gave me, though it is at least fairly subdued, compared to what the men wear. Daniel Jack, and Teal'c all look more than a little ridiculous in their colourful _dresses_ - and with the exception of Daniel, very uncomfortable!

Jolinar reminds me that it is a type of clothing that is normal on many worlds, and I know she is correct. My team-mates still look funny - mostly due to Jack's expression. Oh, and their _hats_, definitely their hats!

My dress is a soft brown, with a thin, lighter cloak. I wear sandals, and a simple bead necklace. The only woman in a fanciful dress is the bride.

The celebration goes well, but it is very long. Finally the dinner begins, with one course following the other, now and then with breaks for singing and dancing. I am getting edgy, and Jolinar is very nervous and impatient. We decide it is time to escape. I touch Daniel's arm and lean in to whisper in his ear that I am not feeling completely well. I say I think it was the very creamy and rich food, which I am not used to...especially just after the exhausting experience with Jolinar.

He looks like he feels sorry for me - he is obviously enjoying the celebration and the whole dinner and party. He promises me to tell the others, and I thank him, sneaking off to pretend to go back to the base.


	6. Searching

~So, what now, Jolinar?~ I ask, when we have left the celebration. I fear for what the consequences of our actions will be. Just before we left, I had snuck a small note into a pocket in Daniel's clothing. I hope he finds it, but not until we are gone. It explains very little - only that I say that I am still host to Jolinar and that she can be trusted. And that we have something we need to take care of. Then I apologize to my friends. We'll see if they are still my friends when I return.

~**It was risky, and I doubt it will make them forgive us easier.~** Jolinar says.

~No, but it might help convince them the Tok'ra are not bad guys, and that I really dp get control.~ I give Jolinar control when she asks for it.

~**Perhaps. ****Now we go to Siskiat - it is a world where I have a source.**~ Jolinar feels for the small bag with valuables and the vial with the masking drug. It's hanging from the belt. Satisfied, she walks confidently to the Stargate and dials an address.

We step out on a cold, barren world. ~This is Siskiat?~ I ask.

~**No, this is a stop-over world.**~ When the Stargate shuts down, Jolinar dials a new address, and we again go through.

~You know, you can share a _bit_ more with me! It's not like I can tell anyone if you don't want me to!~

~**I apologize. I am used to having a host I am blended with. Communication is more immediate then. Of course, we would sometimes talk like the two of us do now, but often we would know the others thoughts immediately, and the other would know if we agree or not.~**

~More like when you think something through yourself, and weigh ideas.~ I realize.

~**Yes.~** Jolinar sighs, and I realize that she misses the ease and the friendship of being fully blended. ~**We are on Seskiat. We will go to the market now. There we will buy a few things, then initiate contact with someone who regularly provides me with information. I know which world Martouf and Lantash, and the others, went to, but they are unlikely to be there anymore, if they were captured.~**

~So we'll ask your source.~

**~Yes, but it is unlikely we can meet with him today. I leave a signal, and then someone he knows will inform him. Usually it takes no more than a day before we meet, but until then, I will go to Stulkana and see if there is anyone there who knows anything. I just do not wish to waste time.~**

I understand. And it is _we_ who go to Stulkana, not just you.~

~**Of course.~**

* * *

~**Stulkana is a farming world belonging to the Goa'uld Heru'ur. It is ruled by his underling Neper. He has little interest in the daily work of the planet. As long as the farmers produce a large enough amount, that is. He has groups of Jaffa guarding the work.**~

~So what do you hope to find? This is where Martouf and Lantash went - and the two other Tok'ra?~

~**Yes. The other Tok'ra are named, Sikhlat and her host Hurvu, as well as Ihlkat, with the host Rohk. The Tok'ra undercover with Neper had learned Heru'ur was hiding a laboratory on Stulkana, where he had produced a secret weapon prototype with his ally, a weapon that would potentially be much more devastating than any of their previous weapons, at least for its size. It could tip the balance of the Galaxy. There was to be a weapons test shortly, and Martouf and the others should sabotage the weapon and the laboratory before that test could be carried out.~**

~I know, well some of it. I heard what Garshaw told you when you went to ask for permission to go search for Martouf and Lantash.~

Jolinar ignores that and just dials the address and soon after we step out on Stulkana. It's a very green world. We walk in silence through a forest, with trees covered with soft green leaves. Birds are singing, but I have a feeling of dread.

When we leave the forest, the first thing we see is the palace, with a small city surrounding it. Fields covered with grain stretch in all directions, only interspersed with other fields, covered with other kinds of produce.

From the light, I estimate it is mid-morning, and there are already many people about, working in the fields. Jolinar walks directly into the city, and mingle with the people. There are not much of a crowd at this time, but there are some, both humans and Jaffa. I feel the disconcerting feeling of the naquadah signatures, and keep worrying they will sense us.

~**They will not. Jaffa cannot sense naquadah. Their symbiote can, of course, but it cannot communicate it to the Jaffa, and since it is not looking out of its pouch, it cannot know if what is nearby is another Jaffa or a Goa'uld, or a Tok'ra. It will not react since mostly it would be others that should be there. An immature symbiote in a Jaffa sleep a lot also. There is little else to do in there. And, if all of this should not reassure you, then trust me when I say that the drug is working.~**

~I trust you.~ I tell her, and I do. I am just worried and in an unusual situation. I don't feel in control, and by that I don't just mean because Jolinar currently has control. Which I am actually happy about right now. This is a situation she knows much more about than I do.

* * *

We have walked around in the market place, trying to learn if people are talking about an explosion or something having happened recently, or if they have heard of an altercation or someone being captured. People are not very talkative, and seems subdued. Jolinar remarks that is often the case on Goa'uld worlds.

It is just after noon, and we decide to walk to an inn and get something to eat - and see if we can listen in on the locals.

When we are half-way through a tasteless bowl of porridge, and a mug of thin ale, we are in luck. A talkative group of locals sit down - too far away for normal humans to hear them, but not too far with symbiote-enhanced hearing.

They talk about an explosion out in the forest, that there is a rumour it was a secret place for the gods. Someone has seen strange, destroyed machinery. Then, another rumour...they lower their voices almost too far for us to hear, but they have heard it was foreign gods that came to punish Neper - like he is being punished by Heru'ur now for his failings. A punishment they will all bear - the grain production must be 25% higher this year. Impossible - the growing season is already a third over. Many will suffer, as there will be little food left for them.

~The locals will suffer for the Tok'ra blowing up the lab? That's not fair!~ I tell Jolinar.

~**No, but it can be necessary - for the good of the Galaxy. We usually attempt to lessen their suffering. The Tok'ra will bring them food. Now, be quiet so I can hear them!~**

The locals didn't have much else to say on the subject, and soon we leave - to go to the forest and look for the site of the lab, from what little direction we got from the discussions.

* * *

It took us a couple hours to find, but we have managed to locate the site of the lab. It was underground, but there is a big hole there now. It has clearly been blown up - everywhere are torn and destroyed machines and devices. We spend some time searching through it, but there are no signs any people were nearby when it exploded. It was detonated by remote.

~So the mission went well. Why are Martouf and Lantash and the others not home, then?~

~**I do not know.~** Jolinar sounds very worried. ~**We shall go back to Siskiat and see if we can contact my source.~**

* * *

We are in luck. It is only a few hours after we are back on Siskiat, when Jolinar succeeds in meetings with the man who sometimes gives her information. He has only little to say on this matter, though. Apparently, there is a rumour that Heru'ur caught some traitors on one of his underlings worlds.

After paying the source, and he has promised to look for more information, Jolinar decides to go to Heru'ur's main planet.

~Remember...this is a _shared_ mission! You shouldn't just tell me what we will be doing!~ I tell her, angrily.

~**I apologize.~** Jolinar says, sounding remorseful. ~**I am preoccupied with the fate of my mates, and the other Tok'ra, and I am not used to not being blended fully. I shall try to do better - however, I thought we had agreed that the goal was to free Martouf and Lantash? Why then would we need to discuss every course of action?~**

~It is the principle, and while I agree we should save them, I want to know what we will be doing, what we will be risking. Besides, maybe I might have a different plan? A better or less risky plan?~

~**How could you? You know nothing about most of what goes on among the Goa'uld. I have been a Tok'ra and an undercover agent for almost 2000 years. Before that I was a Goa'uld System Lord. You cannot know this better than I do, especially not since we have not blended and you do not have all the information.**~

~Then just tell me! It can't be necessary to blend to tell me!~

~**No, but there is a lifetime of experience, knowledge, many little things that I take into consideration which I may not even think to tell. It would be impractical to explain it to you.~**

~Two minds are better than one. Is that not also why you blend? Besides the necessities.~

~**Yes, of course two minds are better than one. And our sharing with our hosts, that we listen to each other and discuss things, get two persons input and knowledge...that is part of what makes the Tok'ra able to outwit the Goa'uld. I do see what you mean, and I do not deny that you could get ideas I could not, also because you see it from the outside, and have not been involved in it all. It can be a strength as well as a weakness.~**

~Then tell me what you know about Heru'ur.~

~**I shall.~** Jolinar says, and she does, as we walk towards the Stargate and then on to Heru'ur's world.


	7. Going Undercover

It is early evening on Heru'ur's homeworld, and when we arrive there are Jaffa stationed at the Stargate. Jolinar immediately fall to her knees in front of them.

"What are you doing here, woman!" the lead Jaffa yells.

"My lord, I apologize for trespassing, but I am looking for my husband who is a trader. He has been missing for several weeks, and I know this is a world he trades with. I have come to look for him, and to convince him to come back to me."

The Jaffa laughs. "So, he has run off with another woman, eh? But you are an exotic beauty!" He runs his hand through my hair, obviously liking it. "Are you sure you want him back? Perhaps you would enjoy someone else more?"

"Ah, good sir, despite his failings, I feel much enamored by my husband still. I would like him back."

"Pity." The Jaffa grins lecherously as he caresses my cheek. If I had control I would smack him up his head!

Perhaps it is a good thing I do not have control - we would probably find ourselves in a bad situation quickly if that was the case!

"I will remember your kind offer, sir." Jolinar winks at him as she gets up, then bows her head respectfully to him before leaving on the path towards the nearest city.

~How could you talk nicely to that lecherous loser?~ I ask Jolinar as we walk towards the city.

**~Long practice in playing various roles. As an undercover agent, it is necessary to blend into the culture, and while few human women would be happy to be a Jaffas plaything, they would also know better than to openly say so to a Jaffa in a high position. We would quickly have found ourselves in a very bad situation, and if they had not killed us out of spite, we might have ended up the slave of that Jaffa anyway. They are not all so, but there are always a number of people - be it humans, or Jaffa - who do not handle power well.**~

~That's true.~

**~You need not fear, though, I have no intention of being unfaithful to my mates.~**

* * *

We have reached the city and walked around for a little while, trying to hear rumours at first the market place, and then at an inn. There are a lot of rumours, but none about new prisoners being brought to the palace. That makes sense, I guess. It's not something the locals would be hearing about.

There is little else we can do today. It is getting late, and we decide to rent a room at one of the guesthouses. After taking a new dose of the masking drug, we go to bed.

Tomorrow we will attempt to find work in the palace, so we can hopefully learn if Martouf and Lantash are there. We are both getting very worried. The lab had been blown up more than three days ago, so that is how long our... I mean _Jolinar's... _mates, can have been prisoners. I really hope they are okay.

Jolinar assures me the Goa'uld prefers to see their enemies suffer for a while before killing them, so Martouf and Lantash should at least still be alive. She tries to reassure me, and herself just as much, I suspect. I get the feeling Jolinar fears they may have been tortured to death repeatedly, and brought back to life in the sarcophagus. Neither of us can stand those thoughts, and we both try to suppress them.

Neither of us sleep well that night.

* * *

Next morning, we bathe and prepare to go and look for work. We are hoping to get to work inside the palace, either as a kitchen slave, or a cleaning slave. That would give us the opportunity to talk to the other slaves inside the palace, and perhaps to sneak off during the night and look around.

When we arrive at the palace, we find that we are in luck. Apparently they are in need of servants. It would seem Heru'ur has a bit of a temper, and he killed five servants during a recent celebration, because they were 'disobedient'.

I am not sure I wish to know what they did, but Jolinar helpfully suggests they may have done something as simple as serving the wrong dish at the wrong time.

I shudder at what we are risking by working here, but my fear for the lives of Martouf and Lantash far outweighs any fear I have for myself.

For now we will be doing whatever work we are needed in - until they have determined what we are best at. I am currently in control, and they show me to a room with a lot of mattresses on the floor. This is one of the rooms where the servants sleep, and I get assigned to row four, column ten. That suits me just fine, as it is in the corner, near an exit, but Jolinar points out that it is probably considered for those of lowest rank - since it is colder there, and people would walk past it and disturb you if they need to go to the bathroom or have errands at night. Of course we are given that spot - we are the new ones.

I suddenly realize that I am more and more thinking 'we', instead of 'me'. How odd. I push the thought aside - we are two people on a mission, who need each other to succeed, so of course I am thinking we.

I kneel beside the mattress to put my few things beside it - though I keep the vial with the masking drug hidden in my bra. I touch the mattress, it is hard and seems to be filled with straw. The pillow is small, made of course cloth, and also filled with straw. Aside from that, there is a woolen blanket. Oh, well. I guess I have slept in worse places.

The leader of the servants glare impatiently at me, and I quickly rise and follow him.

* * *

We have spent much of the day washing, peeling and chopping vegetables. Even when Jolinar's help, my back is sore, and my fingers hurt. The other servants don't speak to us much - we are the new ones - but we have started talking to one of the young girls working there. She started working only a week ago, and remembers how it is to be new - and she has few friends yet.

I leave Jolinar in control most of them time, since she is much better than I at blending in. Strangely enough, I do not mind so much that I don't have control.

Jolinar tells me she uses the lives of her previous hosts as base for the character we are playing.

~Then perhaps it would be a good idea if I _knew_ some more about the person we are pretending to be? Aside from us being a young woman called Noska from Kiwwa.~

~**Noska was - or is, I do not know if she still lives - the sister of Rosha. Rosha was my host before Quinta, the Nasyan man you found me in. She was my host for 20 years, and became my host at the same time Martouf became Lantash's host. Kiwwa is the name of the village Rosha and Noska was from.~**

~Thanks, that's something, but it doesn't tell me much about Noska. How did she behave? What did she do?~

**~She was a happy and positive individual, but also completely convinced the Goa'uld are gods. Rosha's world is not a pleasant one. The people are poor, and women are considered second-rate citizens. Love and physical pleasure are not something women dare even dream of. It took me a long time to convince Rosha that men and women should treat each other well, and should be equal. Fortunately, Martouf's world is different, and he has never been taught any such nonsense.**~ Jolinar sighed. **~Noska was humble and obedient, which we will pretend to be - to a certain degree.~**

* * *

"Would you like to see some of the palace?" our new friend, Ha'lana asks in a low voice, throwing a quick look at the supervisor in the corner.

"Yes." Jolinar says. "But can we just leave the kitchen like this?" She gives the supervisor a nervous look.

"Food needs to be brought to our Lord's room before he arrive with the slave he has chosen for the night. Toana and me are carrying the food and drink there, and we can use the extra help."

"Will we not risk meeting the Lord himself, then?" Jolinar says, with a fearful edge to her voice. No human would willingly approach a Goa'uld, so this is a question that would be expected.

"Do not worry. We will be gone long before he retires to his rooms. I have heard he has prisoners, and he is interrogating them." Ha'lana leans close and whispers in my ear. "Rumour has it that it brings him pleasure - I am grateful none of my friends have been chosen to share his bed tonight. He is more brutal than normal after such sessions, and the unfortunate girls suffer greatly."

Jolinar shudders - and it's not fully an act. I get the impression she has had to endure similar things, and that she would rather not discuss it. "In that case, I would very l much like to follow."


	8. Discoveries

At the SGC

"Didn't you say Carter went back to Stargate Command?" Jack demands.

"Yes, that's what she said." Daniel defends himself. "She said she was tired after all that stuff with Jolinar, and that she wasn't feeling well."

Jack shakes his head. "Right. Well she hasn't returned, so we better go back to the planet and have a search party started. Maybe she got real sick on the way back and his lying behind a bush or something." He looks concerned. "Let's hope she's not in trouble."

"Captain Carter is strong. She knows what she is doing." Teal'c says.

"Yeah, but humans aren't quite as strong as Jaffa, Teal'c. Who knows who it affects you - having a snake removed. It's _got_ to be something you can't just shrug off." Jack shakes his head again. "We should never have let he come - or at least not let her leave on her own. What if she got confused and wandered off? Remember how she will sometimes have memory flashes and think she is Jolinar - or that she is somewhere else. What if that's gotten worse?" Jack hurries to find Hammond, and ask to have several teams assigned to search for Sam.

* * *

Heru'ur's Homeworld

Jolinar and I follow Ha'lana and Toana, all of us carrying large heavy trays of food and drink. We walk slowly, so as not to drop or spill anything. The floors are newly scrubbed, and everything looks like it is being constantly kept in top condition by an army of servants. Which is exactly what happens, of course. No god can have a place that looks worn down or dirty!

Now and then we meet groups of Jaffa, and despite the heavy trays, we have to quickly put everything down and bow deeply. It annoys me greatly, as does all the other sucking up and subservience that is going on all the time. Yes, I am in the military, and I know how to obey the chain of command, but I am not good at this constant submissive behaviour. Together with not having control much of the time, it's beginning to grate on my nerves.

**~How do you think _I_ feel about it then? I was a former System Lord! If I can stand it, so can you!~** Jolinar tells me, quite a bit more forcefully than I feel is needed.

~Whoa, relax! I'm just thinking that this is really a hard role to keep up!~ I defend myself. Sensitive much?

Jolinar sighs. **~I do apologize. I worry for my mates, and that is my only excuse. I know you are not used to such missions as this.**~

We continue, and eventually reach the chambers of Heru'ur. We all bow to two Jaffa guards, and Toana address them, humbly looking down.

"Honourable Jaffa, we bring food and drink for the great Lord Heru'ur. May we enter?" Toana asks.

"Yes." He and the other Jaffa open the doors, and we walk inside, taking care not to spill anything.

The room is more opulent than anything I have ever been in before, with gold and jewels everywhere. Furniture carved from expensive wood and with engravings and plush silk seats. We walk to a table and put on a new tablecloth, then set out the food and drink, as well as glass, plate, and silverware - or I guess it would be more correct to call it _gold_ware. I guess you could buy a small planet just with the valuables in here!

I feel like shaking my head at it all, especially with the rest of the population so poor, but Jolinar seems completely unfazed. Not surprisingly, I guess. She has been undercover many times, and has seen things like this before - and she has been a System Lord herself.

I don't know what to think of that. She has been an actual System Lord. Yes. it is impressive she changed on her own, but it must be strange for her - especially when she is pretending to be a slave, such as now. Also, while the Tok'ra live reasonably comfortably - at least they never starve - there is no luxury in the tunnels, everyone have to work, and the clothes are often worn and torn - on purpose, apparently, both to help blend in with the human slaves and farmers on other worlds, and to remind the Tok'ra who they are fighting for, and that they are _not_ gods.

While I have been thinking, Jolinar, Ha'lana, and Toana have finished decorating the table, and we hurry to leave the room. Feeling that we are safe, Jolinar gives me back control, which I take, gratefully. Yes, she is better at this, but I am getting stir-crazy in here! I'm just not used to it - I wonder how the hosts of Tok'ra on long-term undercover missions handle it?

We have just stepped back into the corridor, when Heru'ur appears! Crap!

With him is a young, beautiful, and very scared girl. She is dressed in very revealing clothing, and I realize immediately that she is his 'chosen' one for tonight. I feel sorry for her.

"**What have we here?**" Heru'ur says, looking lustily at me, Ha'lana, and Toana, then returning his look to me. **"A kitchen slave who is an exotic beauty. Perhaps I should promote you? At least for a night!"** He grins evilly, then looks at the slave girl beside him. "**Maybe tomorrow. Jaffa, make sure the golden-haired slave is bathed, dressed, and prepared for me tomorrow night, should I want her.**" Without waiting for an answer, he leaves for his room, with the terrified slave girl following.

Jolinar grabs control and bows deeply, acknowledging his attention. Fortunately, no one was looking at us at that moment, because I did not have my eyes closed, so they flashed, of course.

~You could just have _told_ me to bow! You're already in control most of the time, dammit!~ I 'yell' at Jolinar.

~**My apologies. This was faster, and I could not be certain you would behave correctly. You're hatred and disgust of Heru'ur is clouding your mind.**~

~Damn straight I don't like him! How are you going to get us out of this problem? I hope you're not expecting me to _sleep_ with the snake!~

~**That would be most unfortunate if we have to do that. For all the reasons you already have thought of of, but there is something else as well. Even if we take a double dose of the masking drug, it may not work well enough to stop him from sensing the naquadah if we are that close, for more than a short time. Of course, he is likely to be concentrated on other things, so he may not discover it.~**

~Then what do you intend to do? Besides, we need to get Martouf and Lantash and the others out of here. As soon as possible! They are being tortured!~

**~Something I am very well aware of!**~ Jolinar 'exclaims'. **~I think about it all the time!**~

~Of course. I'm sorry. It's just all so stressing!~

* * *

We return to the kitchen, and continue working for the rest of the day. The work is hard, and there is clearly no labour control authorities! We're working until late in the evening, with only short breaks, to eat leftovers.

Finally, most of the work for the day is done. The night shift arrives - there are always a few servants ready to bring their Lord whatever he wants.

Just as we are on our way out, the kitchen leader calls us back. "Where are you going? You have not yet brought food to the prisoners!"

Prisoners? Now is another time I am happy Jolinar is in control, because I would have betrayed what I felt! Jolinar, however, manages to control her reaction, and just turns back towards the leader, with a tired expression. "I apologize. I shall see to it at once."

"The food is on those trays. Bring those and the water bucket."

"Am I to carry all that alone? Two trays and a bucket?" Jolinar asks, using my voice, noticing, as do I, that there are only two portions. We're both almost faint with worry. Did someone get away? Got sent somewhere else? Is someone dead? Who?

"You can go back and forth all the times you want."

"You can use the pushcart... can she not?" Ha'lana asks, already half'way out the door.

"Hm, I suppose she can."

"Thank you." Jolinar bows her head respectfully. She starts loading the trays of food, and the water bucket with a couple wooden mugs, onto the cart.

* * *

Land of the Light

"We've searched the entire area around the Stargate, and the way from the city to the Stargate. Carter is no where!" Jack says, frustrated.

"Um, I just found this..." Daniel says, holding a piece of paper up. "In my pocket. It's a note from Sam. At least I think it is..."

"Couldn't you have found that a _little_ earlier? We've just spent _hours_ searching!" Jack exclaims. "What does the note say? And what do you mean you _think_ it's from Carter?"

"It's...well, it says _"Daniel, Teal'c, Colonel O'Neill. I'm sorry for doing this, but there really isn't any other way. This is something I need to do, and you wouldn't have understood it. It is a matter of life and death. I can't explain much right now, but I need to go and rescue Martouf and Lantash. That is, _Jolinar_ and I need to rescue them. Yeah, you got that right. Jolinar is still in me - alive and well. It's just a temporary agreement, but there was no other way, no one else to do. I'll explain when I return. I hope you will eventually understand and forgive me._ Sam." Uh, that's what it says..." Daniel looks nervous.

"The snake is_ still_ in her? What the flying fuck is going on? The damn Tok'ra tricked us! Why did we ever trust them?"

"It sounds as if Captain Carter and Jolinar are the only ones that have 'tricked' anyone. Most likely they have deceived the Tok'ra as well as us." Teal'c says.

"Don't you get it? The Tok'ra didn't remove Jolinar, and now she pretends to be Carter!" Jack insists.

"Uh, if that was the case, why go her at all? I mean it doesn't make any sense. Risking detection by going to Earth. And why write the note? If we hadn't gotten it, we'd just have thought Sam was missing." Daniel says.

Jack thinks it over for a moment. "You're right. Maybe the Tok'ra doesn't know. At least not all of them. It's just that damn duplicitous Jolinar!" He shakes his head in disgust. "Martouf...that's Jolinar's _mate_, isn't it?"

"Yes, I think so." Daniel agrees.

"Well he seemed pretty taken with Carter, so maybe that's why Jolinar ran off with her. She thinks her lover will like her new host! Crap! We need to save Carter!" Jack looks angry.

"Jack - it looks like Sam's handwriting." Daniel holds the note up. "Do you really think she can fake that? Jolinar, I mean."

"Why not? She's got access to everything Carter knows. That means this is a security risk as well! We've got to go back and report, and then we need to contact the Tok'ra and see what they say. They must know where she's gone."

"How do you want to contact them? We don't even know what planet they're on!" Daniel says.

"Wonderful. This is just getting better and better!" Jack grumbles. "Come on, guys. Back to Earth!"


	9. Some Progress

We are told the directions to the cell block, and we hurry there as much as we can, without risking anyone thinking we are behaving strangely. When no one is nearby, I take out a short knife Jolinar snatched in the kitchen, and push it into the bread, hiding it. I then place the bread so that the end is in the barley gruel, hiding I have tampered with it. A zat would be better, but this is the best we can do right now, and we couldn't have hid that in the food anyway. The knife may come in handy for them later.

Jolinar takes control just before we reach the door, and she bows submissively to the Jaffa guards. "I am bringing food and water for the prisoners, good sirs. I ask to pass."

"We shall accompany you, so they do not trick you."

"Thank you."

"Have you been told? They are not ordinary prisoners, but fallen, perverted gods! It is only due to our Lords great power that they are kept captive. I would be careful going close to them, however!" the youngest of the Jaffa says.

The older Jaffa glares at him, and he shuts up. Jaffa usually consider themselves above speaking to mere humans, unless they have to, but the Jaffa is young, and he seems to appreciate how we look. It worries me, but Jolinar smiles invitingly at the Jaffa. "Thank you for your concern." She smiles wider. "I am Noska from Kiwwa."

The young Jaffa grins at her, a bit foolishly. I mentally roll my eyes.

~Jolinar!~

~**What? If we wish to be able to free Martouf and the others, it is not a bad idea to make sure one of the guards like us.**~

~I suppose that is true...~ I admit, reluctantly.

We follow the two Jaffa guards along a corridor, with cells on each side. They are all empty, except the one furthest in. Two people are sitting along the back wall of it - one of them is Martouf/Lantash, the other one Jolinar recognizes as Rohk/Ihlkat. We both feel immensely relieved that Martouf/Lantash are alive, but what has happened to Hurvu/Sikhlat?

Since Hurvu/Sikhlat are female, and quite beautiful, a number of worrying scenarios runs through Jolinar's head. The Goa'uld will not usually rape Tok'ra - or other Goa'uld - prisoners, but it happens. With Heru'ur's little disgusting kink of getting aroused from torturing people, who knows what he has done to Hurvu/Sikhlat? Jolinar does not consider it very likely, though, but it is still worrying she is not here. Heru'ur should not have killed off any of his prisoners yet.

"Give them their food. Quickly." the Jaffa leader says, opening the door to the cell. "If you try any think, I _will _shoot!" he threatens the Tok'ra in the cell.

We walk up to the cell and start placing the food and drink just inside the cell. Jolinar sneaks a look at Martouf and Lantash. They look tired, and their clothing is bloody and torn, but they seem uninjured. They have probably been in the sarcophagus after the torture. Martouf looks up, and for a short moment he gets a surprised expression, then he carefully blanks his expression. With the masking drug, he cannot sense Jolinar, so he must think it is just me, Sam, and I am not surprised he is shocked I would come to his rescue. Or even that I know _how_ to find him. Jolinar wink at him and give him a reassuring smile, then turn around and leave the cell again.

Jolinar bows respectfully to the Jaffa, and is about to go, when the young Jaffa take a step towards us and grab my arm.

"Noska...you are new here, correct?"

"I am, yes, sir."

He nods. "Then...why do you not return later, and perhaps bring us tuva-juice and flat-cake? My shift is over in an hour, and I could teach you many things you need to know here...and show you some parts of the palace a human would not be allowed to go on their own. What do you say?"

~No...no, no, no!~ I tell Jolinar.

However, she just smiles at him and bows her head in acceptance. "That would be most agreeable, good sir. I shall return here in an hour.

~Are you crazy? Don't you get it? He want to sleep with us! I am not, repeat _not_ having sex with him. I refuse! What are you thinking of? You have _mates_!~

Jolinar pushes the cart back in the direction of the kitchen, and sighs as she answers. ~**Yes, I have mates, and I have no intention of being intimate with the Jaffa, unless there is no other alternative. If that should be the case, I will block you out, and you will never know what has happened. However, this is something I have thought through at a previous time, and while I still very much regret what I had to do, I _will_ do _anything_ to save my mates, and be together with them again. _Anything_! Understood?~**

An image of a disgusting, foul-smelling man...a Goa'uld, appears in my mind for a brief moment, before Jolinar brutally forces the memory away. ~You slept with him to escape from...Netu? What is Netu?~

~**A place you should hope never to see. It is a hell, created by Sokar, to house his enemies. This is a memory I will not discuss.~**

Jolinar sounds so completely refusing of talking about it, that I accept and leave it. For now.

* * *

We had returned to the kitchen with the cart, and then gone to fetch some tuva-juice and flat-cakes. The first is a kind of refreshing drink, made of - you guessed it - something called tuva-fruit. I don't like the smell - it's somewhat like a combination of rancid butter and strawberries - but the taste is not too bad. It's never going to be my favourite, that's for sure. Turns out Jolinar doesn't like it either. It's something the Jaffa are fond of drinking. Since they don't drink alcohol - they can't get drunk, only sick if they drink a lot - they have other beverages they prefer. Tuva-fruit is slightly intoxicating in itself, and affects the Jaffa a little, so they drink that.

The flat-cakes are a hard, slightly spicy, sweetened cakes, made from oatmeal and wheat. They're pretty good, actually, but _not_ combined with the tuva-juice. I'm glad Jolinar is going to be in control for this 'date'. I have asked her to block the taste from me. I would ask her to block me out completely, but I want to keep an eye on what she are doing. It's not that I don't trust her, but...it's my body.

* * *

We have spent a couple of hours with the young Jaffa. His name turns out to be Lahk'tor, and I guess he is nice enough. Jolinar is pouring tuva-juice in his glass as soon as it is empty, and he is getting to be quite intoxicated. Suddenly, Jolinar snatches his zat and shoots him once, before he even has time to react.

~Wait, don't kill him! He hasn't done anything!~

~**He would give us away if we let him live!~** Jolinar says, looking towards the still unconscious Jaffa. As intoxicated as he was when we shot him, it's unlikely he will wake up any time soon.

~Can't we lock him up somewhere? I mean, we don't expect to hang around here for long, do we?~

Jolinar sighs. ~**It is dangerous and foolish, but...yes, the small storage room he showed us, no doubt with the intention we should meet there later...it would be useful for hiding him. It is remote, and looked rarely used. If we hurry, we should be able to get him there before the next change of guards. Right now no one should be in the corridors that leads there.~** She looks around the room and find some thin, strong rope, which she use to tie up the Jaffa.

~Wait, we need him to be able to walk! We can't carry him! He's too big for that.~

~**We can carry him. I give you quite a bit of strength, as well as enhance your senses. Have you not noticed?**~ Jolinar sounds almost insulted.

I _have_ noticed, actually, but had not stopped to think. ~Yes, but I didn't think it would make me _that_ strong. I mean, I'm pretty strong, but this guy is Teal'c-sized!~

~**Yes, he is.~** Jolinar takes the Jaffa's knife and hides in our clothes, together with the zat she took earlier. Then she lifts up the Jaffa and slings him over the shoulder, leaving out the door at a fast trot, as soon as she has listened that no one is there.

* * *

Surprisingly, we made it to the small storage room. The Jaffa is still unconscious, and we make sure he is well tied up, and that he has a gag he can not yell through. It will likely be at least a day, maybe more, before he is found. By then, we hope to be long gone.


	10. Jail Break

Back at the SGC

It was maybe 4 hours after Jack and the others had returned to the SGC, and it was evening and SG-1 was about to leave for the day, when an unscheduled incoming traveller was announced.

Jack, Daniel, and Teal'c ran to the gateroom, hoping it might somehow be Sam coming back, despite being host to Jolinar.

It was not, but it _was_ the Tok'ra, as was soon determined by looking at the signature of the radiation that had hit the iris. It was from the Sagan box that had been given to the Tok'ra, so it was obviously some of them that wanted to talk.

The iris was opened, and Jacob/Selmak walked through, followed by Yosuuf/Garshaw, and four Tok'ra guards.

"Interesting that you feel like visiting us, just after old Jolly ran off with Carter! Perhaps you've come to admit you lied and didn't remove the snake as you said you would?" Jack says sarcastically.

"Good to see you too, Jack!" Jacob remarks, acerbically. "We didn't know any more than you did, until recently, and we came here as soon as we found out."

"Let's go to the briefing room." Hammond says.

* * *

"So you're saying that you didn't _know_ Jolinar hadn't been removed from Carter? That she just waltzed off, pretending to be Carter?" Jack asks, outraged.

"We're saying that Jolinar has not left Sam, no. Apparently, some of Jolinar's friends, who are healers, helped them hide that she is still in Sam. They even gave them a masking drug, which means no one will be able to sense Sam has a symbiote." Jacob explains.

Jack snorts. "_Them_, you're saying it as if Carter had a choice!"

"**Regardless of what Jolinar has done, she would _never_ have forced her host to something like this! Jolinar is a lot of things, and she can be very headstrong and unwilling to change her mind, but this is not how she is!**" Garshaw insists, angrily.

"What, you're claiming Carter would have _agreed_ to this?" Jack sounds incredulous.

"Yeah, why would she?" Daniel asks.

"As unhappy as I am about what Jolinar has done, from what Selmak has told me, Jolinar wouldn't do it." Jacob sighs deeply, bowing his head and giving Selmak control. "**About a week ago, three Tok'ra left on an important mission to blow up a Goa'uld laboratory. As far as we can ascertain, they succeeded. However, shortly after, we heard no more from them. It is not unusual that operatives go missing for some time, perhaps due to having to hide before they can safely leave their position. However, this is not a mission which should have taken long, and when the operatives were long overdue, Jolinar contacted the Council and asked for a rescue expedition was sent."**

"Sensible, but what does that have to do with her suddenly walking off?" Jack asks.

"**The Council decided it would be too risky to send anyone to retrieve them. Jolinar did not take this well, thought we had not expected her to act on her own. However, it would seem that she has."** Selmak bows her head, giving Jacob control again.

"You see, one of the Tok'ra missing is her mates, Martouf and Lantash." Jacob tells them.

"Crap!" Jack says, hiding his face in his hands.

* * *

In Heru'ur's palace

Sam/Jolinar hurried from the small storage room to the kitchen, where they picked up tuva-juice and flat-cakes. They then went to the cell area, and approached the guards.

Jolinar smiles at them, and bows courteously. "Greetings, good sirs. I come from Lahk'tor. He thought you might like the rest of the tuva-juice and flat-cakes from a small...celebration he and I had earlier today." She blushes as if she has just admitted to sleeping with Lahk'tor.

The guards both grin. "The thought is well received. Place it here on the table for us, and then you can return to young Lahk'tor!"

Jolinar does as they tell her to, then bows again and leaves quickly.

We wait about an hour. Time enough for the Jaffa guards to drink the tuva-juice, but not long enough that a new shift will come. When we return, the two guards are a little intoxicated - meaning their reactions are slowed. Taking advantage of this, Jolinar whips out the zat we swiped from Lahk'tor earlier, and shoots them both. While they are still lying on the floor, she quickly shoots them both once more, killing them. She snatches the keys to the cells, as well as their zats, then shoots them again, disintegrating them.

~Whoa! Was that really necessary?~ I ask her.

**~Yes, and this is not something we will discuss every time! I have more experience than you in this matter.**~

~Hm.~ I decide not to talk about it now. In this case she was correct at least - the Jaffa might well have given us away.

She uses the keys to unlock the door to the cell block, then opens it. She gives me control.

~**Explaining my presence is better done later. Now time is of the essence. Free Martouf and Lantash, and Rohk and Ihlkat, then take them to the larger storage room where we dined with Lahk'tor. I noticed there were some servants clothes there, and if they take a dose of the masking drug as well, we should be able to escape without notice. No one looks closely at human slaves, normally.**~

~Unless they want to sleep with them.~ I remind her, thinking of Heru'ur's comment to us earlier.

~**True, but he is only interested in females, and will not look closely at male servants.**~

I walk up to the holding cell and unlock the lock. "Martouf? Ihlkat?" I call to the sleeping men in the cell. Martouf/Lantash awake first, and sit up.

"Samantha?" Martouf asks, surprised.

"Yes. I'm freeing you. Come, we have to hurry."

"Of course." He gets up, and so does Ihlkat, who nods at me.

"What about...um, Hurvu and Sihklat?"

"They betrayed us to Heru'ur! That is why we are locked up here!" Martouf exclaims.

"**They reported the mission to blow up the laboratory. We were captured almost immediately afterwards, and she went to Heru'ur, smiling, when we were caught!**" Ihlkat is furious. "**How could she do this!**"

"Listen, we're in a hurry." I hand them a zat each. "Come with me."

* * *

We hurry through the corridors, amazingly not meeting anyone, though now and then we hear footsteps not far away, and have to pick another route, or hide behind statues and curtains.

Just as we slip into the storage room, we hear the sound of the alarm. The escape has been discovered.

"There should be some servant's clothing in here..." I say, looking over the room where Jolinar tells me she believes she saw the clothes. "Ah, there." Several sacks of what is clearly freshly laundered clothes, is sitting in a corner, clothes spilling out of one of them. I pull out two pairs of leggings, shirts, and other things they will need, and throw it at them. "Better change quickly."

"Good idea, Samantha." Martouf says, giving me a brief smile, before starting to pull off the torn and bloody clothing he is wearing. I find myself looking for a few moments, before I catch myself, and force myself to look away.

**~He is _very_ good looking, is he not? Just think of how it will feel to slide your hands over his body, hold him close, kiss him, as he thrusts...~** Jolinar begins, making sure to let the images flit through my mind as she speak.

I gasp. ~Stop! Now! It's your mates, not mine!~

~**But you are attracted to him. More than that. You are falling in love with him!**~ Jolinar insists.

I very much fear she is correct, but I am _not_ admitting it. Not yet, anyway. No, what am I thinking? Jolinar is leaving. Soon. I _can't _fall in love with her mates.

But she _is_ correct. I _am_ falling in love with him...them. And they are _very_ attractive.

* * *

Martouf/Lantash and Rohk/Ihlkat have changed into clean - if worn and patched - clothing. Martouf collects all the soiled clothing in a pile, and shoots it thrice with his zat, causing it to disappear.

"Good. You look like human servants now." I smile at them.

"As long as no Goa'uld get close to us, we will be fine...hopefully none of the Jaffa remember how we look, but apart from the guards in the cell block, and the First Prime and his group, none have been close to us. The Goa'uld prefer not to expose too many of their servants to the fact that there exists being of their own kind, who have chosen a completely different way of life. Beings who do _not_ consider themselves gods." Martouf said.

"No, I can imagine why that would be bad for their claim to divinity!" I smile at him, then fish out the masking drug. "You should each take a dose of this. It will mask the energy signature of the symbiotes."

"**Where did you get that? It is very difficult and expensive to make.**" Ihlkat asked.

"The Tau'ri know how to produce it?" Martouf looked surprised.

I shake my head. "No. Ah, Jolinar told me it would come in handy. Some friends of hers made it for me."

Martouf looks surprised. "I am pleased - but it is unexpected that the Council agreed to a rescue mission."

"Yeah...well..." I don't know what to say. "Listen, take a dose of the drug. We need to find a place to hide before anyone finds us."

"Very true." Martouf takes a dose, as does Ihlkat.


	11. Revelations and Decisions

It was even harder to avoid meeting anyone this time, than when we fled the holding cell, but we managed to get to an outside storage room, meeting only a few Jaffa. None of them gave us a second look, so being dressed as human servants is certainly a good way of getting around a Goa'uld palace.

"Okay, it shouldn't be too hard to get away from the palace grounds from here. We just need to wait until things quiet down a little, and they stop searching." I say.

"**They will not stop searching for a very long time. In addition, the guard by the chaapa'ai will have been increased already."** Lantash insists.

**~He is correct, you know.~** Jolinar reminds me.

"**It does not matter. We cannot leave yet regardless."** Ihlkat says. "**We cannot let Hurvu and Sihklat remain** here!"

"Why not?"I ask. "They've chosen what side they wanna be on, and it's not the time to take revenge for them betraying you."

"**No, that is not why. They have much important information, which they almost certainly have not shared with Heru'ur yet. They would give him little at a time, trying to make themselves as useful as possible, for as long as possible. This is how minor Goa'uld often gain influence - selling information about their previous masters!"** Ihlkat says.

"**In addition, Hurvu is likely innocent. I cannot imagine a host willing to assist his or her symbiote if they turn Goa'uld!"** Lantash exclaims.

"**True, but what if Sihklat does not yet suppress her host? What if she is tricking her host into believing this is something they do together? What if they are both brainwashed, in some way?"** Ihlkat says. "**We cannot risk that, to perhaps save a host - as regrettable as it is."**

Lantash sighs. "**You believe we should attempt to kill Hurvu and Sihklat?"**

**"Yes, most decidedly! There is no other save solution. We certainly cannot capture them and bring them back to the base!" **

"So you want to stay here and see if you can kill her? Are you crazy? You'll be caught!" I tell them.

**"Samantha, we are deeply grateful for you coming here, and we do not expect you to stay. Please, we shall do what we can to help you escape, and then you can carry the information about what has happened to the Council."** Lantash says.

"Ah, no, I'm staying here. I may be able to help you. They think I'm working here, you know?"

"**Yes, that is true."** Lantash acquiesced.

~**The Jaffa we hid will likely be found in less than a day, particularly now, when the palace is being searched.~**

~Is that a 'I told you so?' Yeah, I realize we should have killed him, okay?~

"**Why did the Council send _you_ here? It is not that we are not grateful, but I am surprised they send a human."** Ihlkat says.

**"Or anyone at all. Samantha, did the Council ask you to risk your life doing this?"** Lantash looks like he is angry at them for it. "**They should not have done so!"**

I take a deep breath. "No, not exactly. The Council didn't want anyone to go. You're right in that. However...Jolinar wanted to rescue you, more than anything else..."

"**Jolinar asked you to do this? You should not have agreed to it! Do you not understand how dangerous a mission this is?"** Lantash argues.

**~Stubborn fool!~** Jolinar observes, anger creeping into her mental voice.

"Well, she couldn't just let you die, now could she? You wouldn't have gotten out on your own, and no one else was coming to rescue you, so you had _better_ be happy that I am here!" I tell them.

"**I am. We are. We are just...concerned for you." **Lantash looks very sincere. "**How did the..."** He swallows. "**Extraction go? Is Jolinar well?"** He looks deeply worried.

~Jolinar...perhaps it is time to tell them...?~ I suggest.

**~Yes, you are correct. It is.~**

I bow my head, and Jolinar takes control. She flashes her eyes as soon as she looks up. The surprising gasp from both Lantash and Ihlkat is not something I will forget soon.

"**Jolinar?"** Lantash asks, not sure he can believe it. He looks...hopeful?

"**Yes. Samantha agreed to...ah, give me a temporary respite before leaving her. We both agreed we wanted to save you."****  
**

**"It was very risky, Jolinar. To take an _unwilling_ host on such a dangerous mission..."** He looks a bit angry.

**"Samantha agreed to the risk." Jolinar interrupts him.**

Lantash nods, accepting this, and no longer looks angry, though not quite as hopeful. Did he think I had agreed to be a permanent host? Hoped it? I feel a thrill. He likes me! "**Then we are grateful for the rescue - and very thankful to Samantha for agreeing to remain your host for a while longer." **He smiles at us.**  
**

**~Samantha...may I kiss him?~**

I hesitate only for a moment, because I realize I want this as much as Jolinar does. ~Yes.~

**~Thank you.~** She grabs Lantash's hands, and pull him to her. "**Lantash - and Martouf. Beloveds... we were so very worried for you. The relief to find you well, is beyond words."  
**

Lantash smiles at her. "**Thank you, my sweet Jolinar.**" He frowns. "**Samantha was concerned as well?**"

"**Of course, how could she not be? You have made quite an impression on her." **Jolinar smiled, and embraced him, leaning in to kiss him.

Lantash pulls back a little bit and hesitates. **"Samantha does not mind?"**

Jolinar shakes her head. "**No, she does not."**

He nods, and smiles at her/us. "**That pleases me greatly to hear." **He closes the short distance between us and gives Jolinar/us a soft kiss. I feel my heart beat fast, reacting to what Jolinar is feeling, though I am feeling the exact same. It is heaven to kiss him.

Jolinar embraces him tightly, and moves her/my lips against his, enjoying the long-missed feeling of his mouth against hers, and his body against hers/ours. This is confusing, and I can't tell with certainty what is me feeling something, and what is Jolinar feeling it, but I do not care. I just don't want them/us to ever stop kissing.

I feel the border between me and Jolinar blur, as she deepens the kiss and we both feel a pleasant surge of lust. Far too soon, Jolinar lets go, remembering where we are. She looks at him, with much love in her eyes, then gives him a quick kiss again.

It is several moments before my brain clears enough to think about anything but Martouf and Lantash. Ihlkat has waited patiently while Lantash and Jolinar (we?) kiss, and he smiles a little at us, showing he is not angry and understands. **"So we are in agreement? We will remain here, and attempt to find a way to kill Sihklat?"**

**~Samantha?~ **Jolinar asks me.

~Yes, I guess we need to take care of this.~

**"Yes."** Jolinar says, and Lantash nods too.

So I guess we're committed to doing this. I really really hope we're not going to regret it!

* * *

At the SGC

"And you've got no idea where Jolinar might have take Captain Carter?" Hammond asks.

"As Garshaw told you - and Selmak agrees - Jolinar would not have forced Sam to do this. As strange as it may sound, she _must_ have agreed to it." Jacob tells them.

"Okay - _why_ would she do that?" Jack wonders, not really willing to believe it.

"She may be feeling responsible, because Jolinar will be punished as soon as she has left Sam - and that Jolinar may be forced to remain in a tank for a long time. Or..." Jacob looks at the other Tok'ra. They all sigh, and frown. "Selmak thinks they may be starting to blend, at least to some degree. It was a very likely side effect of the treatment that healed Jolinar, and if that is the case, Sam may be...feeling some of Jolinar's emotions."

"For Jolinar's...mates?" Hammond asks.

Jacob nods. "Yes."

"Wonderful!" Jack says sarcastically.

"**We do have an idea of where Jolinar and Captain Carter may have gone."** Garshaw adds. "**Which planet they may have gone to initially, even if they are not necessarily still there. However, w****e do not currently have any operatives that can be risked on this mission. Already four of our operatives are missing."**

"We're more than willing to take the mission! Just tell us where to go!" Jack insists.

"**It would be dangerous. They may all have been captured by the Goa'uld..."**

"Yeah, we're tried that before. General?" Jack looks at Hammond.

Hammond considers it for a moment. "Let's start by hearing where they could have gone, what the original mission for Jolinar's mates were, and what the danger is. Then we can make an informed decision."

"General! With all due respect..." Jack begins.

"George, we need to rescue Sam. The Goa'uld in charge of that world..." Jacob says.

"I'm sorry, but we need the facts first." Hammond nods at Garshaw. "Please begin."

Garshaw nods, and begins explaining what little they know.

* * *

"So you're saying this Goa'uld Neper...on Stulkana, or whatever the hell the place is called...he's an underling of _Heru'ur_?" Jack asks.

"**Yes."** Garshaw answers.

"And Heru'ur would get the prisoners, if Neper catches them?" Daniel wants to know.

"**Yes.**" Garshaw repeats.

"Could you be a little more forthcoming? We know who Heru'ur is, but not much. Is he a bad Goa'uld?" Jack says. "Powerful? Anything?"

"He is one of the worst, in many ways, O'Neill." Teal'c explains, a solemn look on his face. "As the son of Ra - and Hathor - he held much power and influence among the Goa'uld. With Ra gone, he has tried to take his place, but not yet succeeded. Many support him, but many are also his enemies. However, he is still very powerful...and he is also known for his...depravity, though the Goa'uld do not call it so."

"**Your Jaffa friend is correct. Heru'ur is not known for leniency, and he is much feared, even among other Goa'uld, for his treatment of his prisoners. He seems to be deriving...pleasure, from torturing them. Even more so than most other Goa'uld."** Garshaw says, apologetically.

"Well that's it! We can't leave Carter with him!" Jack exclaims.

"Colonel, we don't even know if he has her - or the others." Hammond calms him.

"**We will do some intelligence gathering, to see if anyone knows if Heru'ur has them, but I am afraid that is all we can do."** Garshaw says.

Hammond nods. "Then we will wait to hear back."

"General!"

"No, Colonel. I can't send you into that kind of danger, when I don't even know if there is anyone to rescue! How do we know that Jolinar didn't go somewhere else? No. We will wait for more information. Dismissed."

* * *

"Jack?" Daniel looks at him. "What are you planning? I can tell you're planning _something_!"

"You're right. We're not going to leave Carter in the hands of that perverted madman! I've talked to Jacob, and he's going to meet me...ah, somewhere else...bring whatever intel the Tok'ra have on this...next time we go on a mission, I will be taking a small detour before coming back. I was hoping you would cover for me."

"I will of course accompany you on your mission, O'Neill." Teal'c says.

"Yeah, I'm coming too, Jack!" Daniel insists.

"It's a dangerous mission. Are you sure you want to do that?" Jack asks.

"It's Sam! Of course we're sure!" Daniel exclaims.

* * *

A/N: I am currently travelling, and I don't know with certainty when I have access to internet. I will be writing when I have some time, but it may be a while before I can post it. I am back again Sunday, so no later than that, at least ;)


	12. Missions

P2X-305, the next day

Jack looks at the Stargate as it shut down. "Okay, Daniel. Please dial this address." He hands him the piece of paper Jacob had written the glyphs on the other day. "As long as you're sure you're coming? Last chance to change your mind, you know." Daniel and Teal'c both just gives him a glance that says, duh, like we would ever not go to rescue one of our team! Jack shrugs. "Okay."

Jack dials the address and they left through the wormhole that opened. Out on the other side, Jacob is waiting for them.'

"What kept you?" Jacob asks, impatiently.

"Mission was postponed an hour due to a hailstorm at the planet we were _actually_ going to - and we couldn't very well say it didn't matter, because we were not going to check out those ruins anyway, now could we?" Jack says.

Jacob nods slowly. "True. Now, are you ready to go?"

"Whoa! I thought you were just gonna give us some Tok'ra intel, and then go back?"

"No, I'm coming with you. It's my kid." Jacob says.

"What do the Council say?" Daniel asks.

"Selmak is _on_ the Council." Jacob sighs. "Though I'm afraid they'll probably not be too happy."

"You didn't tell them?" Jack grins.

Jacob shrugs. "Not in so many words, no."

"Yeah, Jolinar already went against their order, so one more Tok'ra doing so will _not_ make them pleased." Daniel observes.

"Understandable. If it were on Earth, we'd all risk Court Martial. Well, we _do_ risk Court Martial, but Jolinar and Selmak don't... well, you know what I mean." Jack says.

"Actually, while the Tok'ra can be somewhat more lenient than the Air Force, we _do_ have harsh punishments for going against the rules. The Council will _not_ be happy that we are risking not only yet another operative, but potentially giving the Goa'uld one more Tok'ra to torture, and so one more who can be forced to give up our secrets." Jacob tells them. "Of course, it is nothing compared to breaking one of our highest laws - like Jolinar did when she took an unwilling host." He looks angry.

"So the Council is pissed. Okay, got it!" Jack sighs. "Just like the SGC...well, we'll worry about both of them later. You had some intel, right?"

"Yes." Jacob says, and begins to relate what the Tok'ra has been able to find out.

* * *

"So, the three Tok'ra sent by the Council to blow up a lab on Stulkana, but somehow Heru'ur found out and captured them, right?" Jack asks.

"Yes, and we don't know how." Jacob hesitates. "Selmak thinks we may have another traitor, in addition to Cordesh. I sure hope she's wrong."

"I thought Tok'ra were supposed to be loyal for life?" Jack frowns.

Jacob bows his head, giving Selmak control. "**Usually we are. Something unprecedented is taking place.**"

"Couldn't they have been switched out for Goa'uld?" Daniel suggests.

"**Possibly, but it is not the Goa'uld style. Also, they do not know how to remove a symbiote without killing the host. Of course, there are sarcophagi, but it takes a long time to undo the damage of the symbiote toxin, and besides, the Tok'ra operatives often carry poison that can be used to cause near-irreparable damage to the host as well. Knowing what will happen - with the host becoming suppressed by a Goa'uld, and the secrets of the Tok'ra taken - neither a Tok'ra host nor a symbiote will allow that to happen. If an attempt to remove a Tok'ra symbiote is made, it will do as much damage as possible to the host - after making it dead or unconscious. With the host's blessing."**

"Yikes - but I guess I can see the reason." Jack looks pale.

"Selfless and wise." Teal'c adds, clearly impressed.

"Okay, can we talk about something else?" Daniel says, really not liking the topic.

"**Yes, of course. What I wanted to say is that it is unlikely the symbiote has been switched out. Also because a Goa'uld would have a difficult time pretending to be a Tok'ra, for more than a short period of time. The only other option is that somehow the symbiotes have been corrupted. Brainwashed. Perhaps on less dangerous missions, where they did not expect it?"  
**

"Couldn't the Goa'uld just stun them with a stun grenade and then brainwash them? Then they would not even know there was something to worry about." Daniel suggests.

"**Again, possible, but we just do not know. It is a great concern, and it is being looked into. Anise is researching the problem. Regardless, there may have been a traitor on the team that was sent to blow up the laboratory Heru'ur had on Stulkana, and that traitor turned them in, and they are now most likely in Heru'ur's prison, being interrogated - or dead."**

"What about Sam, and, and Jolinar?" Daniel asks.

"**Jolinar is resourceful. She will have found out, despite what the rest of the Council thinks. She has almost certainly gone to Heru'ur's homeworld, to see if she can free the prisoners. However, she may not know about the traitor, so she could be in danger because of him, or her. We are already late, and we should hurry to follow."**

* * *

At Heru'ur's palace.

Since Sam/Jolinar are supposed to be a servant there - using the name of Noska from Kiwwa - we sneak out to find out what is going on, while Martouf/Lantash and Ihlkat is staying in the hiding place.

I have just made it back to the area near the kitchen, when Ha'lana shows up, looking scared. "Noska!" She whispers. "Am I glad to see you! We all woke from this commotion, and found that the Jaffa are searching the palace for the prisoners, that are apparently escaped. When I saw you were not in your bed, I feared you had been caught in all of this - since you were sent to give them food!"

"I delivered the food without incident, but one of the Jaffa was very interested in me and kept trying to get me to meet with him. Remembering what you had all told me, about not antagonizing them, I eventually agreed. We met, and spent, ah, some time together. I was on my way back to the sleeping hall when the alarm was sounded." I tell her, doing as Jolinar suggests, and hint that I have slept with the young Jaffa that was hitting on me. It is apparently common, and will work great as an excuse. After all, it is half-true, as we did at least eat together.

"Ah." Ha'lana nods, understanding. "I hope it was not too bad. Some of the Jaffa can be a bit, _forceful_." She looks at me with pity.

"Yes, well...he was fairly...polite." I say, not sure what to answer. He didn't really attempt anything, even if he probably would have, had we not zatted him - and now the poor guy was tied and locked up in a small storage room. Oh, well. "You said the prisoners have escaped? Are we in any danger?"

"Who knows! They are apparently fallen gods, so they probably have _power_s...our Lord Heru'ur has been keeping them under control and in the holding cell, but what now? He must have been distracted. Maybe they are free to use their powers as they want?" Ha'lana looks terrified. "We must hope Lord Heru'ur soon uses his might to stop them, but they are two and he is one."

"Yes. Eh, yes, we must." I am not sure how people can believe the Goa'uld are gods, and have these odd contradictory beliefs in their 'gods' being in danger and such. If they are gods, they should be immortal and invincible, should they not? Of course, this is other 'gods' he is supposed to be fighting, so maybe not? Or what? "Maybe... Lord Heru'ur has other gods to assist him, doesn't he? Minor gods, I mean."

Ha'lana nods. "Yes, of course, and while they are less powerful than him, they are still gods and so have infinite power compared to a human or Jaffa of course. I wonder if they are stronger than a fallen god?"

"How many, um, minor Gods assists Lord Heru'ur." I ask her, wanting the information.

"Normally several..." She thinks about it. "Four, but they are all away on important errands for our Lord Heru'ur right now. None of them are here. However...I have heard he has just allied with a new minor God... Takla, so maybe she can help?"

"That sounds...sounds good." I say, thinking nervously that it may be the Tok'ra that turned traitor. She knows how Martouf/Lantash and Ihlkat looks, and maybe how I look! "When did she arrive?"

"A few days ago. At the same time Lord Heru'ur captured the fallen gods. She is said to have helped him. Those who see him often, says he has been very pleased recently, so I think he is happy with her services. I am sure she can help capture the fallen gods again!" Ha'lana smiles, looking relieved.

"Perhaps we should make sure she is told about the escape? Where is her rooms?"

Ha'lana looks shocked and gasps. "No! Never approach a god without being ordered to. Haven't you learned that? Besides, why would she not already know? She is a god!"

"You're right, of course. I didn't think." I give her a bashful grin, as if I am ashamed of my stupidity. "Could you tell me where her rooms are, so I do not happen to walk near them by coincidence?"

"You would not. Servants are not allowed in that part of the palace, unless we are sent there, like when we went to serve food and drink for Lord Heru'ur. The new god's room are in a side corridor, the last on the right before reaching our Lord's rooms."

"I understand. I will take care not to go near any gods unless I absolutely have to!"

* * *

Carrying a bucket of water and some cloths - and looking submissively down - we hurry to the part of the palace where Sihklat has her quarters. Perhaps, if we are lucky, she is still in her rooms. Goa'uld do not usually go out during danger, as when prisoners are on the loose in their palace. They will wait for the Jaffa to apprehend them.

~Shouldn't we have told the others?~

~**Why? Three people approaching would be more suspicious than one, and I can shoot her just as well as they can.~**

We're approaching the quarters, and suddenly sense an energy signature. Looking around, we notice there are no Jaffa nearby. So it is from inside the quarters, which Jolinar confirms. ~Sure the masking drug words still?~

~**We just took a new dose. Do not be such a worrier - Martouf and Lantash also worry all the time. Please do not let me suffer three of those in my life!~**

~Well, perhaps you would rather be without me in your life?~ I snap at her, the stress of the situation getting to me.

~**Not now.~** Jolinar takes control - without asking - and places the bucket on the floor, then whips out the zat we have hidden in our clothing.

The door to Sihklat's quarters opens and she exits, staring surprised at us. She frowns. "**You, human slave! Stop!"** She glares at us. "**You are the former host of Jolinar!"**

"**No! She is the _current _host of** Jolinar!" Jolinar says, raising her zat and firing at Sihklat. "**Traitor!" **

~Don't kill her! The host is innocent...and what if Sihklat has been brainwashed? It's not her fault then!~

We hear Jaffa running in our direction. ~**That may be true. ****Regrettably, I do not have the luxury of waiting to find out.~** She fires again, killing Sihklat, and Hurvu. ~**They may or may not be dead. Two shots kill all ordinary humans and Jaffa...and most Goa'uld. Some have been known to survive to heal the damage to themselves and their hosts.~** She walks up to Sihklat and pulls the hand device from her, which she had started to put on. Then Jolinar fires again, vaporizing the body. ~**However, no one comes back from oblivion.~**


	13. More Prisoners

~Okay, so now you killed Sihklat and Hurvu.~ I observe, unhappy.

~**Yes, and I intend to take advantage of their death - by impersonating Sihklat.**~ Jolinar informs me.

~Won't Heru'ur know immediately because he can't sense you with the masking drug?~

~**Yes, we cannot go near him until the drug wears off, which will not be for many hours yet, but we may not be able to fool him anyway, as we do not know what Sihklat told him. All we now is that she called herself Takla. No, we will fool the Jaffa - and Heru'ur will likely stay in his quarters for some time anyway.~**

~Right...~ I am not altogether sure what Jolinar is up to, but never mind. ~Something else, I guess I can forgive you for grabbing control without asking - we would have been shot by Sihklat otherwise.~

~**Yes, there was no time to ask for permission. Had we been blended you would have felt my intention, and understood why.~** Jolinar sighs. ~**Not being fully blended is something I need to constantly think of. Since it is a constant source of discomfort, I should be able to remember to think about it and account for it, I would think. I shall do better.~**

She walks into Sihklat's quarters, while I stunned think about what she said. I realize that many times we misunderstand each other because we do not think to speak first. Jolinar is used to being fully blended, so she is used to having a host that _knows_ why she does things, and fully blended there would be a trust that means the host would not mind when the symbiote grabs control, since they would know it was for a good reason. I still find it hard to trust Jolinar implicitly. My first thought is always that she has betrayed my trust, even though I know she has not, and I realize it after a while.

I find myself thinking about how it would be if Jolinar and I were as close as she was with Rosha. As close as I know Martouf and Lantash are. Best friends, closer than lovers. I envy that.

Being preoccupied, I have not noticed that Jolinar has quickly grabbed clothing from closets and drawers, and are now undressing. It is only a short time later when she stands in front of the mirror, having dressed my body in the clothes of a Goa'uld minor Lord! I must admit, that while a bit revealing, it is not nearly as bad as what many Goa'uld wear. Jolinar has picked the more toned down clothes, and I am grateful for that.

To my surprise, I look stunning! Sexy! I/we wear a low-cut dress of a shimmering blue silk, embroidered along the hem with golden thread. The material is so fine that it is translucent, but several layers of it mean it is fairly _decent._ Jolinar has picked a thin belt of golden wires, and a pair of flat shoes, that is made of the same silk as the dress, and also embroidered with gold. Standing in front of the mirror, Jolinar puts on a beautiful necklace, several armlets and rings, and a golden diadem, heavily inlaid with jewels. Last, she puts on the hand device.

~Wow.~ The result is impressive! Jolinar looks beautiful, and very sexy, even with the arrogant expression she now assumes. _I_ look beautiful, something I don't usually think of myself as.

~**You are beautiful, Samantha. You may try to hide your beauty in baggy uniforms, but you do not succeed in hiding it. Martouf and Lantash have noticed, I am certain of it!~**

~Ah, well, thanks. Um, let's go do...whatever it is you want to do.~

Jolinar is amused that I get embarrassed when she mentions Martouf and Lantash liking me - I more than suspect she knows how I feel for them.

* * *

We have taken only a few steps outside, before we sense Jaffa again. We hear someone walking heavily also, like the Jaffa usually do. Jolinar walks straight in the direction of where Martouf/Lantash and Ihlkat are hiding, making no attempts to hide. Very bold and daring!

We meet the Jaffa shortly after.

"My Lord!" the leader of the Jaffa group looks at us with a confused expression. "Forgive me, I do not recognize you..." He bows.

"**I am Takla. One of the human servants approached me, together with the two escaped, fallen gods. The escapees attempted to harm me, but they were of course unable. The worthless host I had before failed me during the attack, and I took this servant, who had clearly been seduced by the fallen gods, to do their bidding. Seeing my strength, they fled. My former vessel was destroyed. A fitting end, since it failed me." **Jolinar allows her hand device to glow briefly, to signal her displeasure. "**Why are you still standing here? Go catch to miserable prisoners, or do you wish to join my former vessel in oblivion? Oh, and make sure the other Jaffa know I have a new host - I do not wish for idiots standing around looking at me or having to kill you because you think I am a mere human servant!"**

The Jaffa had been looking at her in shock, but now they bowed to her, fearfully. "Yes, my Lord. At once, my Lord!" They ran off like scared mice.

~That was effective!~ I observe, surprise. ~I hadn't expected them to just believe you like that!~

**~Why not? They are used to obeying the Goa'uld, and who else would I be?~**

* * *

We hurry back to Martouf/Lantash and Ihlkat, and amazingly make it the rest of the way without meeting anyone but a couple human slaves. Jolinar glowed her eyes at them and told them to get out of the way for Takla, making sure the rumours will tell all the human servants that Takla now had a new host - who had been one of the servants before.

~Poor Ha'lana and the others! What will they think?~

**~That your fate was to become the host of a Goa'uld. They will pity you, and be happy it is not them. Do not waste more time on this!**~

She knocks on the door to the storage room, using the secret sequence. Martouf opens the door, and stares at us, surprised.

"Jolinar? What happened?"

"**We found Sihklat and Hurvu. They were calling themselves Takla - or Sihklat was at any rate. I have killed them, and taken their position. I believe the Jaffa will believe me, but Heru'ur may want better proof, especially since I had to disintegrate Sihklat and Hurvu."**

"It could be very dangerous, Jolinar!" Martouf sighs. "However, as long as the Jaffa are looking for us, Heru'ur will probably not leave his rooms, so maybe this is the way to escape. We could pretend to be some of your servants. If we carry something that partially hides our faces, then we should not risk some extra aware Jaffa recognizing us."

"**That is my thought as well." **Jolinar agrees.

"**As Sihklat is now dead, there is no reason to remain here any longer. I agree with your plan."** Ihlkat says.

"**Good, now what would be likely for you to carry?"** Jolinar looks around the storage room.

* * *

Jacob/Selmak, Jack, Daniel, and Teal'c stepped out onto Heru'uräs world - and directly into the arms of the waiting Jaffa.

~**I told you there could be guards!~** Selmak screeched at Jacob.

~Yeah, well, what did you want me to do? The nearest Tok'ra teltac would take 5 days to get here! We can't wait for that!~ Jacob yelled back.

"Kree! What are you doing here!" One of the Jaffa shouted directly into the face of Jack.

~**Give me control!~** Selmak demanded, seeing that Jack was about to explode on the Jaffa.

Jacob bowed his head, and gave Selmak control. ~Okay.~

"**I am Lord..."** Selmak fished for a name, cursing herself for not having thought this through before going here.

~Daffy?~ Jacob suggested, desperately flinging out the first name going though his mind.

"**Daffy."** Selmak said, then screamed at Jacob in his mind. ~**A cartoon duck, really? What were you thinking?~**

~Relax, focus on the Jaffa.~

"**Lord Daffy, sent here by Cronus, to negotiate for free passage of a fleet through his domain. I bring these two slaves, as well as one Jaffa prisoners, for bargaining purposes."**

Are you crazy? We can't give Heru'ur Teal'c, Jack, and Daniel!~

~**I do not intend to. Wait and see.~**

"We will take you to our Lord Heru'ur." The Jaffa bowed. "Please, follow me, Lord Daffy."

* * *

"My Lord Heru'ur, may I enter?" The Jaffa asked in a loud voice, knocking on the door. "A negotiator from Cronus has arrived."

Heru'ur ripped up the door. "**Cronus? How _dare_ he send someone here after blowing up my laboratory on Selkana! Throw him in a holding cell _with_ his slaves and prisoners. That should teach him! I will not see him until this evening, and tell him that unless Cronus has sent ten metric tonnes of gold before that, he will die horribly! Several times! And send the demand to Cronus. Now! Have you caught the escaped prisoners?**"

"No, my Lord. Not yet." The Jaffa shook with fear.

"**Then _leave_! Do not return unless it is to report Cronus has sent my gold, or you have caught the prisoners! Send me two young virgins so I can spend some of my frustrations!**" Heru'ur screamed, then slammed the door in the face of the terrified Jaffa.

* * *

"**How _dare_ you place me in a holding cell - and with _humans_, and a Jaffa!" **Selmak complained, loudly. "**I will talk to Lord Heru'ur,** _immediately_!"

"Lord Heru'ur demands it. He is unhappy with Lord Cronus, since he had my master's laboratory on Selkana blown up. I regret informing you that you will die horribly, unless Cronus sends my Lord Heru'ur ten tonnes of gold before the end of the day." The Jaffa bowed, and left.

"What the _hell_ is that about!" Jack demanded, as soon as the Jaffa was out the door.

Selmak sighed. "**I fear Martouf and the others decided to spare the locals of Selkana by making it seem as if Cronus had the laboratory blown up. We were unlucky, and I should have chosen a different Lord to pretend to work for."**

"Unlucky doesn't really seem to cover this!" Jack snorted. "Daffy!" He scoffed.


	14. Plans

"**I know Heru'ur is attempting to ally with Ma'at, or I know he was trying to do so before I, ah, fell out of touch...and before I was dead too."** Jolinar shakes her head. "**Is he still working on that alliance?"**

"Yes, very much so." Martouf says. "As far as I know, they meet regularly, and are well on their way to a treaty."

"**Good, in that case I shall pretend to have been sent to meet with her, and bring gifts for her. You will be carrying those gifts to the teltac I will be using. We cannot use the chaapa'ai, since I doubt the Jaffa would let us pass, but we can escape in a teltac."**

"Good idea."

"**Then I shall go and determine where his spaceships are located, and make sure one is ready for us."** Jolinar says.

"Be careful." Martouf tells her. He then pull us in and kiss us, and I feel my mind go foggy as Martouf and Jolinar kiss.

"**I am always careful."** Jolinar grins, and leave the room.

* * *

We are on our way back after securing a teltac, when a group of Jaffa approach us. Jolinar stop and look at them, arrogantly. "**Yes?"**

"Lord Takla?" The Jaffa asks, worriedly.

"**Yes. That is me. Have you captured the prisoners?"**

"Uh, no...not yet, but we are working on it, and we are certain we will succeed soon!"

"**I most certainly hope so!"** Jolinar glares at him. "**Why do you bother me, then?"**

"Cronus's messenger, Lord Daffy, keeps demanding to see Lord Heru'ur, but Heru'ur has ordered us not to contact him. The servants are fearful the new minor god will call down bad luck on them, if our Lord Heru'ur is otherwise occupied. Could you...only if you have time, of course, my Lord...go and make sure he is not dangerous?"

~Daffy? What kind of a name for a Goa'uld is that?~

~**None that I have heard of. We had better determine who this is.~ **Jolinar gives the Jaffa an exasperated look, then nods, graciously. "**Then I shall go an talk to him."**

"Thank you, my Lord. You are a great and most gracious god!" The Jaffa bows deeply, and expression of relief on his face.

* * *

"**I shall talk to Cronus's messenger alone. Leave me, but remain on guard outside!"** Jolinar orders the Jaffa, and he bows as we go into the cell area.

We immediately spot the prisoners - and it is my dad, and the rest of my team! ~Jolinar, we need to free them!~

~**Yes, I know. I just need to find out how - we will take advantage of Heru'ur being too cowardly to leave his rooms while the dangerous Tok'ra are prowling his palace...~** Jolinar snorted. ~**We just need to find a way to trick the Jaffa. Or out-right shoot them, but then we need a diversion...~** She walked towards the cell, and the prisoners inside looked up. "**Greetings." **

**"**Jolinar." Teal'c observes.

"Are you crazy? Running off with my daughter like this?" My dad says angrily. "Against the orders of the Council!"

"Damn traitorous snake! I see you've joined Heru'ur! Did you sell out everyone and everything, for some personal gain?" Jack exclaims.

Jolinar raises and eyebrow. "**As my Samantha would say...it is good to see you too!"** She throws a look towards the door, then bows her head, giving me control.

"We haven't sold out to Heru'ur! What did you think? We came her to rescue Martouf and Lantash - and you too, it would seem. This is just...a handy costume. We've taken on the role as Heru'ur's...underling. I don't think he knows yet, though." I grin. "He's hiding in his quarters, afraid of the big bad Tok'ra roaming his palace!"

"What do you mean?"

"We freed Martouf and Lantash - and Ihlkat and Rohk. The Jaffa are looking for them, and we were just on our way out of here - and then _you_ guys show up and we have to rescue you!" I tell them.

"We were coming here to save _you_!" Jack exclaims. _  
_

"Hi, Sam!" Daniel waves at me, smiling. "It's really you?"

"Yes, it's me." I sigh. "Sorry about all this - Jolinar and I _did_ agree on the plan, and we couldn't really find a good way of telling you about it. We feared you'd stop us - as the Council would have. So, we...kinda didn't ask." I give them a wry smile.

"Jeez, Carter!"

~**We should get out of here! Before the Jaffa get worried.~ **Jolinar reminds me.

"We need to leave. We'll be back soon - as soon as we find a way to get you guys out of here." I bow my head and give Jolinar control, and we leave the cell area.

* * *

~How do we solve this? A direct attack on the Jaffa guarding the cell block?~ I suggest.

~**No, not will this number of guards roaming the corridors. That would be suicide. I was thinking we could, ahem, relive a couple Jaffa of their uniforms, and the have Martouf and Ihlkat dress up as my loyal Jaffa. As long as they keep the helmets up, and we do not meet Heru'ur or anyone else who can sense symbiotes, we should be fine.~**

~So now it was a disadvantage that all of us took the masking drug.~

~**Yes, unfortunately, sometimes the circumstances change.~** Jolinar answers, a bit testily.

~I know. It was not meant as criticism. Merely stating a fact... don't be so sensitive!~

Jolinar takes a deep breath. ~**I am sorry. I have a lot of things on my mind. I worry for my mates... and for you, my new host... as well as other things.~**

~Including whether or not you will get a new host anytime soon - and if you will be punished for running off to rescue Martouf and Lantash and the others.~ I note.

~**Yes.~** Jolinar says. ~**And one other thing...how where a loyal Tok'ra like Sihklat brainwashed? Are more Tok'ra in danger of that, or was it due to Cordesh? If he was the only traitor, we should be safe now, but what if he is not?~**

~Garshaw said Tok'ra usually are loyal for life - it's not very likely you have _two_ traitors, is it?~

~**No...but on the other hand...Cordesh was working for Cronus, and Sihklat joined Heru'ur. I know she may just have taken the first opportunity, but...something does not ring true.~**

~You think both Heru'ur and Cronus have planted traitors among the Tok'ra?~ I ask.

~**I do not know what I think... yes, maybe. The Goa'uld has been trying to get spies into our midst for a very long time, and we have felt safe they would never succeed. Maybe they have taken advantage of that overconfidence. We have a great many operatives out for so long times that it is hard to know with certainty that they have not been compromised. Yes, we usually test them upon return, but not always thoroughly if they return in the same host, since they are trusted...maybe we should test all returning long-term operatives, like we do those who return in a new host, and with no witnesses.~**

~Is it possible for us to make a copy of Heru'ur's computers, or something? Do the Goa'uld even keep records of things like this?~

~**They may, especially if someone is handling the brainwashing for them. I do not believe Heru'ur has the scientific knowledge for something like this. He has always been focused on pleasure and doing as little as possible. He is very much the child of a powerful warlord, used to not having to do anything on his own.**~

~Okay, we'll try to find his computers, then. Should we do that first, or should we free my dad and my team mates first?~

~**If we want to sneak around and get to Heru'ur's secrets like that, it will have to be done before we break out more prisoners. The current confusion will help us, as well as keep Heru'ur in his quarters, but we do not want a full scale alarm. Problem is, that Heru'ur most likely has his computers in his room, at least those with any secret information.~**

~Doesn't he have some labs somewhere? With scientists? Maybe they have the information.~

~**It is not a bad suggestion. He does have a scientist. However, he is a Goa'uld, and he is not currently here, none of Heru'ur's underlings are.~** Jolinar sighs. ~**Maybe we can find the laboratory and hack into the systems, however, while I can use computers and other technology, I am not the best at that. I am no scientist.~**

~I can try, I am usually fairly good at things like that - but I can't read Goa'uld, and I don't really know much about Goa'uld technology.~

**~It is too bad we are not fully blended. Then we could use my knowledge, and your skill, and we could together solve the problem.~**

I am getting frustrated! There is a million things that are hard to do, just because we are not blended! ~Then let's blend - what difference does it make!~

~**It makes a difference, if I am to leave you. You would be left with not only my knowledge and feelings, but we would be as close as if we had been together for years. We would be closer than you have ever been to anyone. The loneliness you would feel after I left you, would probably kill you - or you would kill yourself. No. It is not a good idea.~**


	15. Blended and an Escape

While Jolinar surreptitiously checks on the various rooms, trying to locate the lab, I am thinking about what she said, about _blending_. What do I want? Could I live in the Tok'ra tunnels? Leave Earth, my friends, my team mates?

If we do end up working together - and it would seem that is at least possible - then I could always visit Earth, right? Jolinar and I could even work to increase the cooperation between our people, and I would be able to work with my dad.

Then there is Martouf and Lantash. I think it is pretty obvious I won't mind having them as my mates, so that is a _huge_ plus about remaining Jolinar's host. They seem like they would like me to be their mate - they have said so, and they behave as they do, so I believe them.

If I become Tok'ra, I would go on missions for them, so I would still fight the Goa'uld. In addition, I would be able to study Tok'ra tech, far more advanced than anything we have on Earth.

I can't believe it, but I am actually starting to argue myself into staying Jolinar's host!

I push the thoughts away, deciding to make a decision after this mission. Right now there are important things to focus on. Jolinar has located the lab!

* * *

We have looked through the computers, and found several locked and encrypted files, some of which may indeed have to do with how Tok'ra operatives are brain washed. There are a couple research projects which we suspect, and which it would be good to copy. However, we can neither read more than the database entry codes, nor copy the files, unless we can break the encryption. He has the files locked down good! I am impressed.

~Couldn't we just blow it all up?~

**~Yes, if there are no other options, however not only will it draw attention, but he may have other copies of the files..._and_ the scientist who made the log has the knowledge, so he or she would have to be killed as well... and they are not currently here on the base!**~ Jolinar points out.

~Damn! Let me try again!~

~**We cannot remain here long enough to break this code! I can read and use the technology, and know how the computers are programmed...mostly, but I am no 'hacker' as you call it. No scientist. I do not know how to break the encryption, and you cannot do it knowing only what I tell you of the computers and Goa'uld. We must somehow get Martouf and Lantash here, and have them try. They have a chance.**~

~But they are masquerading as a human slave, which no Goa'uld would bring to help in a lab like this, right? Jaffa have looked in thrice while we have been here. Had Martouf and Lantash been here, they would have been suspected, and we would most likely all have been killed. Is that not correct?~

**~Yes.**~ Jolinar admits.

~So...there is only one other option. We blend. How long will it take?~

**~Blending fully takes hours, and it is not reversible, as I have told you.**~

~Okay, then I guess you're getting a host...~I say, more decisive and cool than I really feel.

Jolinar sighs, aware I am not as comfortable with this as I pretend. She knows though, as well as I do, that there is no choice. She looks to the timestrip on the wall. **~It is noon. We can go and eat, then blend, if you are certain of the decision. We will tell the Jaffa and servants to leave us alone. We will be in very much a hurry afterwards, as Heru'ur will soon decide the search has gone on long enough, and the prisoners must have fled. If that happens, we cannot move freely in the palace, he will want to interrogate me and see if I am Takla, and he will perhaps have your father and your friends tortured. Or outright killed. We also cannot order the Jaffa around or easily escape.**~

~I get it! We have to hurry. Just do the blending as fast as possible.~

**~The faster it is done, the more you will be affected, the quicker our bond will be deep...and you will feel like I do.**~

~Well, that's good, isn't it? I may not even regret staying a host, then.~

**~No, but it should be a choice for you, not a necessity ~** Jolinar sighs. **~However, sometimes life chooses for us.**~

~Jolinar...I really don't think I would regret it in any case.~ I admit.

**~Thank you, Samantha!**~ Jolinar hugs me. ~**I am very grateful, and I promise I will do all I can to make sure you have no reason to regret anything!~**

* * *

When I wake up, the bond with Jolinar feels different, and my mind is full of things I didn't know before. So much information! It feels like too much has been crammed into me far too fast!

**~Which it has, in a way, but we will be all right. Now we must hurry.**~ Jolinar says, and gets out of bed and quickly puts on new, non-wrinkly clothing and fixes up our makeup.

Yes, we are in a hurry, but I feel better than before, and Jolinar has an undercurrent of happiness which spills over to me. She has a willing host, one she is blended with again! I cannot help but share her happiness!

We walk as fast as we can without appearing suspicious, to the lab, and start looking at the computers again. It is still not easy to crack the encryption, but it doesn't feel impossible, as it did before. With Jolinar's encouragement, I set to work.

* * *

It's maybe an hour later, when I have cracked the encryption and downloaded everything about Heru'ur's scientist's projects - including the research on brainwashing people. With this the Tok'ra will be able to not only easily detect those affected, but probably cure them as well!

With the research secured, it is time to focus fully on our escape - high time, actually. Jolinar is surprised Heru'ur has not yet decided the danger has blown over, and exited his room to kill a few dozen Jaffa in a fit of rage that they haven't captured the escapees. We certainly don't want to end up being involved in that! He's more than likely to blame us - or realize we're Tok'ra!

Jolinar walks up to two Jaffa that are a little smaller than the others, and orders them to follow her. They do, without asking any questions. Impersonating a Goa'uld certainly has advantages!

We walk to a desolate place not far from the storage room where Martouf/Lantash and Rohk/Ihlkat are hiding. We have only just turned a corner, when Jolinar turns around, lightening fast, and shoots a shock wave at both Jaffa. They are thrown against the wall with enough force to knock them both unconscious.

~Could you make _more_ noise!~ I complain, nervous.

~**Apologies, but I do not currently have a zat'nik'tel, so I had to use my hand device.**~ She walks to the Jaffa, one at a time, and uses the ribbon setting to kill them - quickly and painlessly.

I am still unhappy with it, even if they didn't suffer, and it was necessary or they would have reported us.

Jolinar walks to the nearby storage room and raps on the door.

It opens slowly, and Martouf/Lantash look out, holding a zat at the ready. He immediately lowers it. "**Jolinar. I am relieved to see you safe. A very long time passed, and we were getting...anxious."**

**"You worry too much, beloved." **Jolinar smile lovingly at him. "**Come, help me drag some Jaffa here, so we can relieve them of their uniforms.**"

* * *

A short time later, Martouf/Lantash and Rohk/Ihlkat are wearing the uniforms of Horus guards. The corpses of the Jaffa have been disintegrated, so there is nothing to find.

"**What is our plan?"** Ihlkat asks.

"**Free SG-1 and Jacob and Selmak, then escape in a teltac."** Jolinar says.

"**They are here?**" Lantash looks surprised. I can't say I blame him.

"**Yes, they seems to have decided to 'rescue' Samantha and myself."** Jolinar finds this amusing.

"**Perhaps the Council will not be angry with us for being captured - and not discovering Sihklat was a traitor."** Lantash muses.

"**Oh, I think we can be certain that the Council will not care about that, compared to what I did - and what Selmak did."** Jolinar says. "**Come, follow me - and be ready to shoot the Jaffa guards in the cell area, if they do not immediately agree to let us take the prisoners."**


	16. Flight

We walk in a dignified speed to the prison area. Martouf/Lantash and Rohk/Ihlkat keep the helmets up, so no one can recognize them. With Jolinar pretending to be a Goa'uld, no one stops us, and no one questions us.

"**Kree, Jaffa! I have come to bring the prisoners to Lord Heru'ur for questioning!"** Jolinar says, arrogantly.

The guards immediately bow to her, and step aside. "Yes, my Lord Takla." One of them hands Jolinar the keys.

We walk inside, and up to the prison cell where my dad and my team mates are waiting. No one stopped us? How can this continue to go well?

Jolinar unlocks the cell, and those inside knows better than to greet her, with possible Jaffa with her. "**Move, slaves and heretics! Lord Heru'ur is awaiting you!"**

Martouf - or Lantash - gives Jack a push to help him move faster. I wonder if that is getting back at him for an unfriendly comment while we were in the tunnels? No, I think Martouf/Lantash are too professional for that - in a situation such as this, it is likely an attempt to follow the role, and I can see why. The door out is still open, and the Jaffa guards are looking - probably to be able to help us, should the prisoners attempt to flee.

We are not stopped, though, and we walk through the door, out in the corridor and then through Heru'ur's palace towards the shipyard. We are getting away!

* * *

Much of the way the direction is the same as if we were going to Heru'ur's chamber, but eventually we have to turn and go in another direction. Now it is getting dangerous, because if any Jaffa guards see us, they may wonder - and if they question us, we may have to shoot them. Quickly, before they raise the alarm.

Of course, it all depends on whether or not they _dare_ question a Goa'uld Lord! Apparently they have been trained to really think the Goa'uld are gods? Or at least to fear them, which is understandable.

We are only one short corridor away from the shipyard - and the waiting teltac - when we are approached by a small group of Jaffa. The leader looks nervously at Jolinar, hesitates for a few moments, then bows deeply. "My Lord...if I may be so bold, where are you taking the prisoners?"

~**He is a loyal servant of Heru'ur, afraid that his Lord's underling is stealing his prisoners and using them to gain advantages with another Lord. He is wrong - but also right, in some ways. We are stealing them. Nevertheless. We have to punish him, even if he is only doing his job. Hopefully he will not press the issue, because then we must kill him - and those with him~** Jolinar tells me. **~No, you may not. It is not your place, Jaffa.**~

Jolinar sounds so arrogant, so cold, so certain of herself - so Goa'uld. It almost runs cold down my back! For a moment I almost regret being her host!

"M...My Lord, I apologize, but...but I must insist. My Lord Heru'ur..." He is shaking in fear!

"**Kree! Jaffa!" **Jolinar flashes her eyes and raises her hand device. She allows it to start glowing. "**Are you _certain_ you wish to interfere in the business of your god?"**

The Jaffa swallows. "No, no, my Lord. I apologize." He bows deeply and slinks away.

Jolinar walks on, selfassured and secure.

* * *

We get to the shipyard, and walk directly to the teltac. There are a couple Jaffa guards in the room, and they look nervous. I am very much afraid it is only a matter of time before they decide to intervene!

Jolinar has only just opened the door to the teltac and ordered her 'Jaffa' to get the prisoners inside and locked up securely, when the guard-Jaffa approaches at a fast trot.

"I _apologize_ my Lord, but I had not been informed that the prisoners where being transported away." He bows to Jolinar.

"**Why would you? It is none of your concern!"**

"Of course, my Lord, but I feared Lord Heru'ur..."

"**Lord Heru'ur - what?"**

"Had...had not been informed..." He swallows, knowing his life is probably forfeit as he is questioning a god - worse, suggesting she doesn't have the right to do what she is doing.

Before Jolinar has time to answer, the door to the shipyard is thrown open again, and a large group of Jaffa enters, shouting loudly. "Stop them! They are traitors! Lord Heru'ur orders it!"

At the back of the group, protected by his Jaffa, I spot Heru'ur. Jolinar does not take time to argue, but just fires a shockwave at the guards near us, throwing them aside. "**Get inside! We are leaving!" **Jolinar exclaims, but it is not necessary. Martouf/Lantash, Rohk/Ihlkat, my dad, and my team mates are all scrambling, getting inside the teltac as fast as possible. Martouf fires at the approaching Jaffa with his staff weapon, as does Ihlkat, and Jolinar sends another shockwave at the Jaffa and Heru'ur, just for good measure, but soon we are forced to flee. The Jaffa, ordered by Heru'ur, stop and aims at us.

We escape inside the teltac and the door closes behind us. My dad has run for the peltac - how did I know that's what the pilot room is called? - and he or Selmak are already piloting the ship away when the door locks behind us.

"The roof, dammit!" Jack exclaims, pointing.

"**This vessel has controls that will open it from in here."** Selmak answers calmly, pushing a button.

The roof is retracting, and we are speeding towards it. This is not a moment too soon - we can hear thunk after thunk as the teltac is hit by heavy weapons fire from below. We cannot engage the shields until we at least clear the building, and teltacs have no weapons, so we can't defend ourselves.

"Well, step on it!" Jack yells, frantic.

We clear the sides of the slowly retracting door in the roof - by what feels like an inch on each side. Jolinar walks up to look at one of the display screens. "**Heru'ur is launching deathgliders."**

"**Yes, I _ha__v__e_ noticed...**" Selmak answers in a tense voice.

With the deathgliders following us, taking potshots at us regularly, we're flying in a zigzag-gy motion, dodging the enemy as much as possible. Selmak seems to be a fairly good pilot, but if Jolinar wasn't in control I would probably have a hard time standing still. As it is, Jolinar is forcing us to relax, doing her best to control our shared body's reaction.

Small explosions can be heard from somewhere in the ship, and I smell electric smoke. Martouf runs off to check it out.

Finally we manage to jump to hyperspace, but the ship is badly damaged.

"Several of the control crystals were damaged. I have switched four of them for new ones, but I don't have extras for all of them. This ship doesn't seems to have been supplied recently - or even repaired from previous damage." Martouf informs us, coming from the back compartment.

"**I know. It was the only available teltac right now, and the alkesh's were heavily guarded."** Jolinar says unhappily.

"We don't...crash, will we?" Daniel asks. He sounds nervous.

Selmak makes a noncommittal sound.

Jolinar looks over the displays. "**We will not 'crash' as long as we are in space. A planet or other celestial body is needed for that. We may, however, strand - or crash if we make it to a planet."**

"Thanks for the vote of confidence!" Jack snorts.

We fly on in silence for a while, all of us hoping the engines won't give out - and that Heru'ur can't track us or force us out of hyperspace.


	17. Crashed

We have fallen out of hyperspace several times, but every time Selmak has gotten us back on track. No one seems to be following us at least, so that is good.

Now, however, the ship is out of hyperspace again, and the crystal is simply burned out.

"**This is as far as we get...at least we are in a solar system, and I detect a habitable planet nearby. We should be able to make it there on sublight engines."** Selmak checks the controls. "**Lifesupport is failing, but we should reach the planet in plenty time before that will be a problem..."**

"But there are other problems, right? Just tell us, I can feel it!" Jack says, on edge.

"**Yes, it is unlikely we can land safely - at the very least the landing will be hard. Also, most of the ships sensors are down, so I cannot determine with any certainty if the planet is inhabited, what level civilization, if there is a chaapa'ai - or where it is."**

"So we're flying in blind." Jack guesses.

"**Yes, essentially."**

"Wonderful." He sighs and looks out of the window at the approaching planet. We all look at it.

* * *

"**Hold on to something! We are going down! Fast!" **Selmak exclaims.

It's getting hot in here - with the shields at low power, and the speed we are going through the atmosphere, we must be lighting up like a flare to anyone down there. Let's hope they are not highly advanced and hostile!

Jolinar - like everyone else - clings to whatever is nearby. Selmak is piloting the ship as well as possible, but it responds only minimally. At least I imagine she is getting it into a somewhat flatter descent...maybe we will survive...

We hit the ground and slide over it, hitting whatever outside. Everything is bumping and tumbling, and none of us can hold on...and then suddenly all is dark.

* * *

I wake up slowly, and at first I don't remember anything. Where are we? Why is my body hurting?

Then I remember. The Tok'ra. My team. My dad. Jolinar. Martouf and Lantash. The escape...the ship. The crash!

I try to move, but find I cannot. I cannot move at all, not even open my eyes! I panic for a moment, then realize I probably doesn't have control. Jolinar was in control when we crashed, and she is unconscious...or worse. She told me it is possible for the symbiote to do so the host can't take control, even when the symbiote is asleep, but that it is not something the Tok'ra normally do. Of course, if a symbiote is awake, there is no way for a host to take control against their will, but Jolinar is Tok'ra, and unconscious...so I can probably grab control...somehow. At least it means Jolinar is alive, or else she would not be able to hold on to control, right?

After a few attempts, I manage to take control, and open my eyes. I take an extra deep breath, and immediately regret it - regrets opening the eyes too. The room is dark and full of nasty smelling smoke.

I close my eyes and try to focus inward...try to find Jolinar. After concentrating for some time, I sense her, but only just. She is alive, but deeply unconscious. I hope she is not too badly wounded. I feel myself panic at the thought. I cannot lose her!

Then I again think about Martouf and Lantash, and panic again. What if something has happened to them? And to my dad? And my team mates? Why isn't anyone saying anything. I open my eyes again and try to force myself to sit up. I manage to move a little bit, and realize I am stuck under something.

"Martouf? Lantash?" I manage to get out, my voice croaking. "Dad? Colonel?" I listen. "Teal'c? Daniel? Uh, Ihlkat? Rohk?"

After so long that I am getting extremely worried, someone finally answers. "Samantha?" It is Martouf's voice. It sounds groggy, but he is alive!

I feel intense relief, and even more when I hear the sounds of someone moving.

"I'm..." I cough from the dust and nasty smoke. "Over here."

"I cannot currently get to you...debris is everywhere. I shall...attempt to...move it." He coughs loudly.

I try to sit up, and feel an intense headache, nausea, followed by blackness.

* * *

When I wake up again, I am confused for a moment. Where am I? After a few moments I remember the flight and the crash - and I vaguely remember trying to sit up, and feeling like crap. I must have passed out, because the dust and nasty smoke is no longer here.

I am feeling better, though various parts of my body still hurt. I search for Jolinar, and sense her. She is still unconscious, which is worrying.

Unable to do anything about that, but wait and hope, I look around the dimly lit room. This is definitely not the teltac!

I am lying in a fairly wide bed, made out of wood. The linen feels coarse. The rest of the furniture in the small room - a table and chair, and a chest of drawers - are all made out of wood. The walls are whitewashed, and the small window is letting in too little light to be made of glass. Some sort of thin paper, I am guessing? The curtains are not drawn, so I can see a light-brownish rectangle where the window is. Definitely paper-covered, I decide.

So, we are probably on the planet we...crashed on. Are we prisoners? Did locals find us and carry us here? Where are the others? Or was I the only one unconscious and carried here?

I don't have time to worry anymore about this, because the door opens and a woman enters. I estimate her age to be around 30, and she has long dark hair, and a regular face. Quite beautiful, actually. She smiles, and looks kind.

"How are you feeling?" She asks. Her standard is understandable, but she has a thick accent.

"Um, okay, I guess. Mostly." I make a face as I try to sit up, and a wave of pain and dizziness hits me. I note that my ribs hurt too - and my right leg.

"Stay still. You were badly injured when your flying vessel crashed."

I nod, immediately regretting the decision. "What about the others that were with me? My friends? A young man with pale blue-grey eyes and brown hair? My dad?"

"They are here as well, in the other guest rooms, and my own room. All are alive, though some are even worse injured than you. You were all very lucky to survive. It was a bad crash. The goddess protects you all." She smiles. "We have sent word to the temple. Priestesses will come and help in treating you, and they will pray to our goddess."

I feel myself panic, feeling almost certain that goddess is a Goa'uld. If she finds out about us... "Listen, it's, uh, nice of you, but you don't need to do that..." I say, again trying to get up, my fear giving me the strength to at least sit up fully.

"You are afraid of our goddess? There is no reason to. She is kind and helpful. Protecting everyone except the evil ones, who is our enemies."

"The evil ones?" I ask.

"The demons who live inside people, stealing their body and life from them."

Okay, maybe this goddess is not a Goa'uld anyway, but I am wondering if she knows the difference between a Tok'ra and a Goa'uld - and if these priestesses have the ability to detect symbiotes. "I see."

"Now you must relax. Sleep, if you can. Do you wish me to bring you something? I have warm broth made of puddle-birds, tubers, and vegetables."

"No, thank you. I really don't feel like eating. My head hurts."

"The broth will strengthen you and help you heal." The woman frowns. "I did not give you my name. Apologies. I am Nadira of Towa. This is the house I share with my mate Towla and our children, as well as my parents. However, my mate is currently away, with our children, visiting his parents. Fortunate, as the beds are now needed."

I smile at her. "Pleased to meet you Nadira. My name is Samantha Carter. My friends call me Sam."

Nadira bows her head. "It is my honour." She smile at me. "I will bring you soup now." She leaves.

I lay back on the bed, thinking about it all. I don't know if we are safe or not, but at least it doesn't sound as if we're at risk of being handed over to the Goa'uld. I worry for Martouf/Lantash, for my dad, and for my friends, but at least they are all alive.

I am also worried for Jolinar. She doesn't seem to have done much of any healing of me, but I have a vague feeling that is how it is if the symbiote is badly wounded. If necessary, they will do enough that the host will live, then they will heal themselves, before returning to healing the host.

Of course, if Jolinar is unconscious, I don't know how it is done.


	18. Friendly Locals

Martouf POV

I must have lost consciousness again, probably due to the thick smoke from the burning engines, because when I wake up again, I am outside the teltac, lying in the grass, I believe. I can feel a light wind blow, and the sun is shining on my face.

I focus inward for a moment, and finds to my relief that Lantash is alive, and concentrated on healing our wounds.

Not wanting to do anything counterproductive to the healing, I lie still, and just open my eyes and look around. I can sense other symbiotes nearby, weak but alive. I hear someone, and turn my head a little bit, to see some people dressed as peasants, carry someone from the teltac.

I remember the crash. It was bad, and worse was that it was impossible to open the door, and let out the dangerous smoke from the burning engines. We would not have survived for very long in there, but fortunately these people have come to our rescue.

Hopefully there is no Goa'uld on this world, because we are in no condition to fight, and a downed teltac is bound to draw them here.

I now see that it is Jacob they are carrying. I can sense Selmak, thought the signal is very weak. So they are alive, but clearly badly wounded.

Where is my Jolinar - and Samantha? I feel my heart beat fast with worry. My beloved Jolinar, and Samantha whom both Lantash and I are trying hard not to fall for. Trying and failing. Soon she will leave, and Jolinar will be in a tank. For how long? How much punishment will she get for this stunt, on top of taking an unwilling host?

All of that is irrelevant right now. Are they even alive? The locals have put down Jacob on the ground, and after checking on him, they have returned to the teltac.

I hear them work inside, no doubt trying to remove the fallen parts of the teltac. A very long time passes. I am getting sick with worry. Lantash has controlled most of the pain, and is well on the way to healing us, but right now I would rather he concentrated on talking to me. I feel alone, and I hate that feeling. At least I can sense Lantash, and that helps. I don't think I would live long if I ever lost him. The loneliness would be too much.

Finally the locals exit the teltac again, carrying someone again - and I see it is Jolinar and Samantha! I can sense Jolinar, but her energy signature is very weak. She is alive, though, and that gives me hope, even if it is worrying to have her wounded like this so shortly after she recovered from the ashrak's attack. She would no doubt still have been weak. I just hope this is not too much for her, but my Jolinar is strong. She will live. She must!

* * *

**~Martouf?~** A voice suddenly speaks in my head.

~Lantash!~ I am more relieved than anyone could imagine! ~Are you all right?~

~**Yes, I am merely tired. I have repaired all our wounds, though our left leg will be sore for a day or so.**~

I sit up. ~Everything feels fine.~

~**Of course!**~ Lantash sounds proud, and he has a right to.

I look around, and spot the locals. They have carried everyone from the teltac. I get up, and they immediately notice. "Hello?" I say.

"Greetings, stranger." An older man says. "I am Folkah of Towa. I am surprised, though pleased, to see you standing. Your wounds seemed more grave."

"I am still sore, but I believe some of this blood you see are from some of the others." I lie, not ready to tell him the truth. "My injuries were light."

He hesitates, then nods. "That is fortunate. More so than your companions. They are all still unconscious."

"I will check on them. Hopefully they will soon recover." I am unhappy I do not have a healing device. I am fairly sure there was one on the teltac, though. "I will first look in the teltac, to see if the...medical supplies, are still there."

* * *

I eventually have to give up. The healing device is no where to be found, but most of the teltac interior is destroyed or mashed together. It is a shock that we were not all killed. I touch my pockets and bag, and find my hand device, and my zat'nik'tel. So the locals have not searched us.

Another man, a bit younger than Folkah, is standing near Jacob, and a young woman is kneeling by him. I see a couple other men and women nearby, that have all helped free us from the teltac. We owe them much thanks.

After greeting them all, and learning their names are Kohlak, Nadira, Sukaf, Tanna, Erogon, and Siolla, I check on the others.

Jacob is very badly wounded, and the knock on his head has almost certainly affected Selmak as well. It is very worrying, but right now there is nothing we can do. Later we will see if we can find some herbs to make a strengthening potion, at least.

Samantha and Jolinar are unconscious, and have a fairly bad concussion, several broken ribs, and multiple fractures in the leg. Aside from that, they have bruises all over the body, but the concussion is the worst. Especially since they were hit in the back of the head, and Jolinar is affected directly. She can only help Samantha in a very limited manner until she has healed more, and is awake. Lantash and I both feel a cold fear, and wish more than anything that we had a healing device, or were back in the tunnels were our beloved...our beloveds...we admit to feeling that for both now, can be helped.

Jack O'Neill and Daniel Jackson both have mild concussions, broken ribs, and bruises. They will live, but they will be in pain for a while. Teal'c is in kel'no'reem, and hopefully his symbiote can heal the fractured arm and ribs I suspect he has. Lantash reminds me we must tell Folkah and the others not to move him during his kel'no'reem, as it can be dangerous. Jacob/Selmak, Samantha/Jolinar, and Rohk/Ihlkat should not be moved either.

Rohk and Ihlkat has similar wounds to Jacob and Selmak, but without the added danger of a neck injury. They will live.

* * *

"How is the young woman faring?" I ask, when after several hours the locals still insist I rest, and leave the others alone.

"You ask again?" the woman called Nadira say, a bemused expression on her face. I suppose I have been very persistent.

"Yes...I worry." I admit.

"She is your mate?"

I hesitate, wanting nothing more than to say yes. "I am not sure...if she still is. I hope so."

"You quarrelled before the crash?" Nadira nods, and I decides to let her believe this. The real reason - that one of my mates are dead, and the other lives within someone I wish will become my mate, but doesn't seem to want to - is something I cannot tell her. "Do not concern yourself. She will live. She awoke a short time ago, and I am bringing her warm broth. I am sure she will forgive whatever transpired between you." She comforts.

"She is awake? May I bring her the broth?" I ask, eagerly.

Nadira hesitates, then nods. "Do not make her agitated. I should not let you talk to her now, I suppose, but you seem honestly worried and in love with her - and she has asked about you as well." She gives me the bowl of soup. "Talk to her, but only for a short time!" She warns, then smiles. "When you come back, I have some soup for you as well. You must be hungry."

* * *

Sam POV

The door opens again, and to my surprise it is not Nadira who returns.

"Martouf?" I look at him in surprise, then smile. "I'm glad to see you're okay."

"Likewise, Samantha." He smiles widely, and despite how crappy I feel, my heart beats faster. That smile...so charming and cute! "I am bringing you some soup, which you should eat. You need the strength." He looks concerned. "How are you feeling? What about Jolinar?"

I sigh, and try to sit up. When I obviously have a hard time doing so, Martouf puts the soup on the small table beside the bed and jumps to help me.

"Thanks." I smile at him again. "I'm better, but still a bit...weak, I guess. My headache is much less, though."

He nods. "I really wish I had a healing device, but it was lost under the debris of the ship."

"I understand." I sigh. "Jolinar is alive, but she is unconscious. It feels as if she's a bit stronger than before, but she hasn't woken up since we crashed. Martouf, I'm worried about her!"

He holds his hand over my forehead, to gauge Jolinar's energy signature. "She is weak, but I believe she will survive. You hit the back of your head?"

"Yes, unfortunately."

"It is among the most dangerous of injuries for blended individuals. Fortunately it is rare that the injury is such that the symbiote is badly affected, but both you and your father were unlucky in this way." I am about to say something, but he sees my fear. "Do not worry. Selmak and Jacob will both make it...and so will you and Jolinar."

I don't know if he really feels certain, or if he is trying to convince me - and himself. "What about you and Lantash?"

"We were lucky, and only got bruises. We are well."

"I'm very happy about that." I smile at him, then try to reach for the bowl of soup beside me, but the movement hurts and I make a grimace.

He sits on the edge of my bed, and holds the bowl in front of me. "I believe I should help you eat."

I sigh, not liking to be this helpless. Somehow I'm happy he sits with me, though - and even that he helps me. I nod. "Thanks."


	19. Priestesses

Sam POV

After I had eaten the soup, Martouf left to let me rest. I fell asleep again fairly quickly.

It is close to evening when I wake up again. Jolinar is still unconscious, but I believe she feels stronger, that I can sense her better.

When I sit up, my head still feels like it is spinning, and the headache returns. It is not as bad as it was, but it is fairly bad. Proving that Jolinar is mostly healing herself right now. Her condition must be grave, for her to heal only herself, for so long. I am worried.

What about the others? Martouf, Lantash? My dad? My team?

I seem to remember that Martouf was in here, talking to me, helping me eat some sort of soup. Was that a dream? It felt real. I decide I need to know how everyone else is doing, and slowly sit up fully. The pain in my head reaches a crescendo, and then slowly fades to manageable levels. Mostly. The broken ribs I have is making it hard to take deep breaths, and I try to breathe shallowly. When I attempt to move my right leg, I cry out in pain. It is clearly broken, and hurts badly despite the bandages and the splint I realize they have put on it.

Either Jolinar must be doing something about the pain, or the locals here slipped me some sort of drug, because while the pain is intense when I move, it is only a numb pain when I lie still.

The door opens, and a worried Martouf enters. "Samantha? Is something the matter?"

I smile at him, a little bleakly. "I forgot about my leg being broken and tried to move it. It was a mistake."

"You should not try to move." He reprimands me gently. "Just call for one of us if you need anything."

"I will. I just got worried about...all of you. You were in here earlier, right? To help me eat some soup? Or did I dream that?"

Martouf nods. "Yes, I was. Several hours ago." He looks worried. "You do not remember?"

"Sort-of. I was unsure if it was a dream or not." I give him an embarrassed smile.

Just then, the local woman... Nadira, I think is her name, enters. "I apologize for interrupting, but some of the priestesses from the temple have arrived. They are bringing medicinal herbs and potions, which we hope will help."

"Thank you." Martouf looks quickly at me, and I suspect he worries the same as I - can they detect symbiotes? "I will go with you. We will return shortly, Samantha."

* * *

Martouf POV

A group of five priestesses have arrived. One is maybe in her mid-thirties, the others are much younger, no more than twenty, and probably apprentices of the older one. All of them are very beautiful - though not as beautiful as Samantha. I sigh, as Lantash points out the truth - we are both head-over-heels in love with Samantha already. It will be hard when - if? - she and Jolinar unblends.

"Welcome, Honourable priestesses of the temple of Ria." Nadira says, bowing to them.

"Thank you." The oldest of the priestesses say. "I am Nutura, and these are my assistants, the young priestesses Saola, Tiraka, Iora, and Sinnia."

The assistant priestesses bow their head as they are introduced, and I greet them as well. "Hello. I am Martouf. Nadira and her family have graciously saved my friends and I, and allowed us to stay until we are well."

"Greetings, Martouf." Nutura smiles kindly at me. "You were not injured in the accident?"

"I was, though not gravely. My friends are more badly affected."

She nods. "I promise you, we shall do our utmost to help them. Please, take me to them."

First we go to the nearest bedroom, where Colonel O'Neill, Daniel Jackson, and Teal'c are each placed in one of the three beds.

"One of them is a Jaffa!" Nutura exclaims, clearly not happy.

"Yes, however, he is no longer in the service of the Goa'uld." I say, before Lantash can stop me. If there is a Goa'uld on this world, the priestesses may worship him or her...probably the one called Ria. They may not want to hear about someone who has denounced his allegiance to a Goa'uld, and is fighting to slay the Goa'uld System Lords. The reaction of surprise and unhappiness from Nutura can just as well be because it is the first prime of a rival Goa'uld.

"Really?" Nutura asks, clearly not ready to believe it.

"Indeed." Teal'c says. He looks much better, after having been in kel'no'reem for hours, and is opening his eyes where he is sitting on the bed. "I am no longer in the service of Apophis, but I am fighting him, and all other Goa'uld."

Dangerous?

Nutura nods. "That is good to hear. Our queen Ria will be pleased."

"Ria is not a goddess?" I ask.

Nutura looks searchingly at me. "There are those who believe she is, but those who have met her, have been assured by her that she is not - despite evidence to the contrary." She hesitates. "For all practical purposes, she _is_ our goddess, though, I feel...you are not one of those who would believe her or her kinds gods."

I nod, unsure what to answer to that, and she steps closer to Teal'c, hesitantly.

"You have no cause to fear me. In addition, I do not require medical assistance. I shall soon be well, as my symbiote heals me."

Nutura nods. "Understood." She turns to Colonel O'Neill, who lies in the next bed. He has been unconscious from the potion Nadira gave all the patients. It contains something soporific, clearly. He is awake, now, though.

* * *

The priestesses have examined Daniel Jackson and Colonel O'Neill, and bandages all their injuries after applying medicinal salves. They have also examined Rohk/Ihlkat and Jacob/Selmak, as well as Samantha/Jolinar.

When they are finished, Teal'c is well enough to join us, when the priestesses report on what they have learned.

"Daniel Jackson and Colonel Jack O'Neill will need time to heal, but they are in no danger. We have given them medicinal salves and bandaged them, and we have potions they should take regularly, which will control the pain, and speed the healing." Nutura says.

"Thank you. That is good to hear." I tell her.

"It is indeed." Teal'c adds, smiling.

"Rohk...is unconscious, but is healing well. Unusually so." Natura gets a speculative look. "Regardless, he seems to be out of danger. We have redressed his wounds, and left a healing potion he should drink when he awakens. The one called Jacob is in more critical condition. His wounds are grave, and he is also unconscious. All we can do, is give him drugs to increase healing, but we would prefer not to wake him until he wakes on his own. Until then, all we can do is burn medicinal herbs in his room."

"Understood. We thank you for your help." I say.

"Samantha have some serious injuries, but nothing that should be life-threatening. It is a good sign that she is awake and her thoughts are clear. Though her concussion seems to affect her more than it should."

I cannot tell them it is because she is a host, and that it is the injury to Jolinar which is affecting Samantha like this. "Hopefully the potions you have given us will assist in her healing."

Nutura nods. "She is your mate?"

"I...yes. Or..." I don't know what to say.

"They had quarrelled before the accident." Nadira explains, helpfully. She turns to me. "She was not still angry at you when you fed her the soup, was she?"

"No. She is not angry at me, but we did not discuss, ah, our relationship."

"I am sure you have nothing to worry about."

"You do, though... and mostly for her life." Nutura looks strangely at me. "What is it you know, that we do not? Is it something which means she is in danger?"

I sigh. "I believe the head wound...is more serious than it seems. For Jacob as well."

Nutura nods slowly. "If it is as you say, then you should go to goddess Ria. She has the means to heal what we cannot."

"I...will consider it. If she doesn't get better quickly."

"Contact us at the temple, and we shall take you to her. We will take our leave now. We will return tomorrow, to redress the wounds and give you more medicinal herbs for the patients."

* * *

Next morning, Rohk is healed and out of bed. Daniel Jackson and Colonel O'Neill insists of getting out of bed to eat breakfast, but it is clear that their broken ribs are painful, and they return to relax afterwards.

Jacob is still unconscious, as is Selmak, and that is deeply worrisome. Selmak's energy signature is weak, but she is alive, and healing. Hopefully, she will heal enough that she can help Jacob, before either becomes too weak from lack of nourishment. If they do not soon wake up, I shall have to contact this 'Ria'. I suspect she is a Goa'uld, but what Goa'uld will not call themselves a god?

~**A Tok'ra.~** Lantash points out.

~Can we believe she is Tok'ra? Have you ever heard of anyone with that name?~

~**No. I have not, and it is unlikely, I know. Still, others have changed before, so maybe so have she.~**

Samantha is a little better today, and she is healing. Jolinar is still not conscious, but she is not worse, at least. After we have helped Samantha with eating her morning gruel, we leave to find herbs to make a strengthening potion, aimed at helping the symbiotes. Yes, the drugs we got from the priestesses will help too, but I believe it should be possible to make one that will help more, even with only what I can find on this world.

Teal'c and Rohk remain behind with Nadira and her family - and our friends and loved ones. I doubt there are any dangers here, but if there is a Goa'uld on this world, then the situation could quickly become dangerous.


	20. Slow Healing

Martouf POV

It took several hours, but we managed to find all the herbs we were looking for. We cannot refine it, nor will it be as strong as the medicines the Tok'ra can make, but this herbal drug should help both Selmak and Jolinar heal and gain strength.

Both Lantash and I worry terribly, for our friend Selmak and her new host, but particularly for our beloved Jolinar and Samantha. Also, who is this goddess they talk about? Is she a Goa'uld? It does not sound that way. What else? Will she be able to sense symbiotes? How will she react to Tok'ra, if that is the case? Will she know Tok'ra and Goa'uld are not the same? Will she even care?

Or...is she...Tok'ra? Dare we hope for that?

We return to the house, where we busy ourselves with making the medicine, trying not to think of anything else. It is hard, though.

Jacob, Selmak, and Jolinar are still unconscious. Samantha is awake, but is not feeling well. Her healing is not going as fast as it should, so Jolinar is still focused mostly on her own healing. Worse, Samantha is feeling sluggish and drowsy - a sign Jolinar's unconsciousness is affecting her. It should not, since they are not blended.

"Here, drink this, Samantha." I tell her. "It should help Jolinar regain her strength."

"Thanks." She smiles at me, but she is very clearly worried. She drinks the medication, then grimaces. "Gah, it's more bitter than anything I've drank before!"

"I apologize, Samantha, but I do not have the resources here to make it taste better." I give her the luke-warm, honey-sweetened herb tea I have brought. "Drink this. It should help with the taste."

She nods and drinks. "Thanks. It does help." She closes her eyes and sighs. "I don't feel so bad - and the pain is almost gone, with the medication I got earlier - but my mind feels like it's inside syrup, and sinking. It's as if...just speaking, is an effort." She lies down.

"Yes. It should not be like this. You are being affected by Jolinar's unconsciousness, which is rare, at least to this degree. In someone who hasn't blended, it's unheard of. I do not know why it is having this effect."

"Oh, but Jolinar and I have blended - didn't we tell you?" She frowns.

"Blended! You have? But didn't Jolinar tell you about the consequences if she leave you, when you are fully blended?"

"Yeah, she did." Samantha looks distant. "Right, I think we didn't tell you. There wasn't really any good time. We've blended - and I've decided to remain Jolinar's host, so the consequences doesn't matter."

"Samantha!" I look at her in shock for a few moments. If the situation wasn't so dangerous, this would be a dream come true! Samantha - whom we have already fallen so deeply in love with - has decided to remain the host of our beloved Jolinar! They are both ours! Lantash and I feel both happiness - and fear - at the same time. This means that Samantha almost certainly also cannot be saved, without Jolinar surviving. Even if we were back with the healers.

Jolinar must survive - we cannot lose her again, and we cannot lose Samantha.

"Aren't you happy? I...I thought you wanted this? You don't like me?" Samantha looks sad, about to cry, actually.

"Of course we want you! Dear, sweet Samantha! We want you very much. We have fallen in love with you, and there is nothing we want more than to have both you and Jolinar! We were just...surprised." I say.

"Yeah, sorry about not telling you." Samantha yawns, and she looks very sleepy.

"The medication is working. You should rest. I will go and give Jacob some of it, and then return later when you have slept some."

"Mmm." Samantha sleepily opens her eyes. "Martouf?"

"Yes?"

"Will you kiss me goodnight?"

"Of course, Samantha!"

Our lips meet, and the kiss is sweet, but short. When I pull back, Samantha is almost asleep. I smile at her, hoping she will soon be well.

* * *

It was difficult to give Jacob the medication, since he and Selmak are both unconscious. With the help of Nadira and Rohk, we get the drug poured down his throat. Hopefully, it will help.

I really wish I had a healing device.

I have inquired about the chaapa'ai. I cannot sense it, so it must be quite far away.

Nadira told me she had never seen it, but that it existed, far away. The original ruler of this world had lived closer to it, according to what she knew, but one day the goddess had come down from the mountains, and she had led them in a battle against the evil ruler. During the battle, there had been some sort of explosion, which had damaged the chaapa'ai.

It could not dial out, only in, and the goddess had decided they should bury it to keep the evil Goa'uld away. The priestesses had agreed, and added that they should all move far away from it. It had been done.

That was now more than 100 years ago, and the new, kind goddess had ruled since.

I really wonder about this. Where did this 'goddess' come from? She unseated a Goa'uld. Is she truly Tok'ra?

* * *

Sam POV

When I wake up, it is late evening. I am feeling somewhat better, though my head is still heavy. The medication I have gotten from the priestesses is wearing off, and there is more pain than before. I do think the drug Martouf gave me is helping Jolinar - I think I can sense her a little more, unless it is my imagination.

I have only been awake for a short time, when Martouf and Lantash enters. I smile at them, and they give me one of their charming smiles back.

"Hello, Samantha. How are you doing tonight?" He puts a tray on the table beside the bed.

"Better." I wince a little as I try to sit up. "There's some pain, though."

Martouf nods. "Yes." He hands me a small bottle. "Drink that. It is the pain medication the priestesses gave us."

Obediently, I drink. This potion is bitter as well, though not as bitter as the drug Martouf gave me earlier today. "Done."

"Good. Now this." He gives me a wry smile. "Yes, it's the bitter one. Sorry."

I nod. "Okay." I drink it quickly, then take the tea he hands me afterwards, washing most of the bad taste away.

"Very good, Samantha!" He smiles, a little teasingly, then sits on the bed beside me. "You should eat some. There is chicken broth and fresh bread."

"I can smell it. It smells good. I _am_ hungry, but I'm not sure how I feel about eating - odd, I know."

He shakes his head. "Not at all." He takes the bowl of soup and holds it out to me. "Do you need help to eat?"

"No, I think I can do that."

"Okay."

I slowly eat the soup, and some of the bread. It is good, but it feels like almost too big of an effort. Finally, I get most of the food down, but I have a different problem. "I...need to use the facilities. Do you think you can help me get up?"

"You are not strong enough. I can bring you something you can use to..."

"No! I'm not going to pee in some bedpan or whatever! Just...help me up. I can manage." Not even Janet has ever been able to make me do that!

Martouf looks at me, then sees my determination, relents and slowly nods. "Of course, Samantha, but you must move carefully. Your leg is broken in several places, even if it is mending faster than it would without Jolinar, even in this situation. You also have broken ribs, and the concussion is still bad. Also..."

"Yes, I know. I haven't forgotten! My whole body is sore! I hope this damn medication works soon!"

Martouf nods. "Understandably, as do I."

He helps me to sit, then stand, before half-carrying me to the toilet, where he leaves me, waiting outside the room. It hurt like hell to move here, and I sit still for several minutes before I can breathe normally due to the pain. Janet would have never let me get out of bed in this situation, and I only think Martouf did because as a Tok'ra, he is used to people being hardier and healing faster, than humans. As it is, I am grateful.

* * *

Martouf POV

"How is Carter and her dad?" Colonel O'Neill asks. He is sitting up in bed. The pain medication is clearly good enough that he feels reasonably well. That is fortunate.

"Samantha is healing...but slower than she would, if Jolinar was well. Jolinar...is still unconscious. She is gaining strength, but not as fast as I would like. Jacob...was awake for a short time earlier today." That had been a great relief, actually. "Selmak is still not awake, but Jacob seemed clear when I spoke to him."

"That's good. So, progress?"

"It is." I say, guardedly.

"What about the Stargate? Any news about that?"

I give him the information I have found, and it does not please him. I can't say I am surprised. I was not pleased either. "We shall have to contact the 'goddess' of this world, I fear."

"You think she's trustworthy? She's not a snakehead?"

I hesitate, both because I don't know, and because I feel insulted by the comment about snakeheads. Lantash even more so, but I insist on control. It will not do to make an enemy. "I do not know. I do not believe she is a...normal Goa'uld, at least, but I do not know if she is a danger."

"Fair enough. I guess we don't have any options. We need to talk to her."

"We do - also because I believe we may need her healing skills."

"What are you not telling me?"

I sigh, but Lantash agrees with me. He should now. I tell him about my worry for Jolinar and Selmak - and thus for Samantha and Jacob.

* * *

The priestesses will arrive later today, bringing more medicine and such. I shall ask them to take me to their 'goddess', in the hope she will truly be as kind as they say, not detect I am Tok'ra - or not care, and have the means for me to heal Jolinar and Selmak. _And_ help us get off world.

It is a lot to hope.


	21. Meeting the Goddess

Martouf POV

The priestesses have agreed to take me to their goddess, however, they believe we should bring Samantha/Jolinar and Jacob/Selmak. No one but us are allowed to come. I am only allowed with them, because Samantha and Jolinar are my mates.

Both Samantha/Jolinar and Jacob/Selmak have been sedated before the journey, since it is fairly long, and the road uneven. It is not possible to carry them completely stable, and the journey may have caused them pain, due to their injuries.

Rohk and Teal'c will stay in Nadira's house, and look after O'Neill and Daniel. Lantash and I feel reasonably sure they are in no danger from any attacks, though we cannot know what will happen if the 'goddess' can tell I am host to a symbiote - of the same species as the Goa'uld. What if she decides we must all be killed?

I push these paranoid thoughts aside. Lantash comforts me, though I know he shares my worry.

Soon we will know. We are approaching the palace where the goddess lives.

* * *

We follow the priestesses into the large, richly decorated throne room. Lantash and I have no doubt that this is - or was - the palace of a Goa'uld. We have noticed the familiar decorations, and in some places golden walls with symbols. However, something is different. It's as if the place is...lighter and more friendly. There are flowers and other plants, as well as delicate figurines and light window coverings everywhere.

They say it is a goddess of life that lives here, and this place has certainly been transformed to fit that image better.

Lantash comments on something else... the servants are better clothed, and better fed, than what would be normal in a Goa'uld palace. They look happier, as if they actually like working here.

Odd... but a good sign.

We hope. Because what if she can sense symbiotes, and decides to kill us all, instead of help? Am I taking my beloved to her death, instead of life, as I hope?

As we approach the throne, and the young woman sitting there, my heart beats hard. I cannot control my fear completely, and Lantash has trouble as well. She is both young and beautiful, with long dark hair and the almost bronze-coloured skin the people have on this world. She is dressed in a dress that looks very good on her, but it is still tasteful, too tasteful for most Goa'uld.

One more step, and nagging doubt turns to certainty. We feel the naquadah signature, and looking up, it is obvious the 'goddess' does the same. She has a symbiote, though the host is almost certainly a local woman. The priestesses are oblivious to it all, of course, and merely motions those carrying Samantha and Jolinar, and Jacob and Selmak, to stand to the side.

The head priestess bows deeply to the woman on the throne.

"My goddess Ria, we approach you with a plea for help."

Ria bows her head gracefully. "I see they are gravely wounded. Tell me, who are these people? They are not of this world, are they?"

Lantash and I notice she does not use the flanged voice a Goa'uld normally would. Is this part of a deception - or is this the host? Could this Ria truly be a Tok'ra?

"They are not. They are our visitors. They arrived in a flying vessel, which crashed on your world."

Ria frowned. "I had not heard of this. When did this happen? Where?"

"A few days ago, close to the ocean near the village of Joh'lana."

"I see." She turns to a man standing nearby - probably a trusted advisor, though I sense no symbiote in him. "Go with one of the priestesses, and have her show you the vessel. Have it examined and return quickly with information."

"Yes, Ria."

No title? Why would she not demand that? Even if he should be her lover, as a Goa'uld she would insist on that.

"Who is the young man with brown hair and pale eyes?"

"He is one of the guests. He is here since the injured female is his mate."

"I see. Come here, young man." Very uneasy, I approach her, and at Lantash suggestion, I fall to my knees, showing my respect. She looks at me for a moment, then go to me, touching my neck, studying it. "You do not need to kneel, you one."

"Thank you..." How do I address her? 'My Lord' seems wrong, since she doesn't appear to be a traditional Goa'uld. 'My queen'` 'My goddess'? Neither seems correct. Lantash suggests 'My lady', and I agree. "Thank you, my Lady."

She nods. "What is your name? From where do you come?"

"My name is Martouf, and I come from...far away. I travelled here on a teltac, with my friends, fleeing from the Goa'uld Heru'ur. Please... I am told you have healing powers. Would you consider helping my mate and her father?"

Ria is quiet for some time, then smiles. "Yes, young Martouf. I do have some healing abilities, and I will see what I can do for your mate and her father. Later, I wish to speak with you alone, but for now I need privacy to examine and heal your loved ones."

Neither Lantash nor I feel completely comfortable leaving Samantha, Jolinar, Jacob, and Selmak alone with her, but we do not have a choice. Ria appears friendly enough, and we are starting to believe she is Tok'ra. She did check for entry wounds on my neck, after all.

I bow to her. "Of course, my lady Ria. I will wait, patiently, hoping they can be healed."

* * *

It has been several hours, and we have still not heard anything. We have been told to wait in a small room. It is comfortable enough, and we have been served food and drink, which we would otherwise have enjoyed, as it is delicious. However, right now our thoughts are only on Samantha/Jolinar and Jacob/Selmak.

What is this Ria doing to them? Why is it taking so long?

~**If Ria is indeed a Tok'ra, she most likely does not have a sarcophagus. She may merely have a healing device, and be using that.~ **

~In that case we should assist, as she will grow tired and together we can work longer.~

~**Very true, but I do not believe she is ready to trust us yet.~**

I sigh, and sit down, absentmindedly eating a little more of the food on our plate. We have had very little, and should be hungry, but it is hard to concentrate on. I drink some of the fruitwine, and it calms me a little.

* * *

Finally, almost a full hour later, we are told Ria is expecting us. We are taken to a personal chamber this time, not the throne room. Ria tells everyone else to leave us, and when we are alone, she turns to us. I notice she is wearing a kara'kesh now - something she was not before.

"You do not trust us?" I ask her.

"I do not know you. I suspect you are trustworthy, but that remains to be seen."

I nod. "Very well. I will answer your questions - if I can, and it does not bring danger to my people. First, however, I wish to know how my mates and their father and Selmak fares."

"No more diversions. I like that." Ria smiles a little, then sighs. "As you already know, their injuries were severe, since the symbiotes were gravely wounded in both cases. Before I say anything else, let me assure you that all will live. All four of them."

I let out a relieved sigh. "Thank you. From both Lantash and I."

She nods. "My true name is Ti'vala, but I believe my soulmate, Ria, should speak now."

She bows her head and when she looks up a moment later, her expression has changed, though she still looks kind. Not that we doubt she is Tok'ra anymore. "**Greetings, I am Ria."**


	22. Ria

Note: I borrowed/adapted some ideas from Roeskva's stories for this. Dangerous carnivorous plants and Selmak having a pre-existing condition that would later in the show make her sick and die. Here she is saved, though :)

* * *

Martouf POV

I greet her again. "Hello, Ria."

Bowing my head, I give Lantash control, so he, too can talk to this person. Goa'uld? Tok'ra?

"**Greetings, Ria. I would appreciate if you would tell me any news about my mates, and my Samantha's father, and his symbiote Selmak."** He takes a deep breath. "**And then I expect to get an explanation. Who are you? Your name is unknown to me. You seems to be - not traditionally Goa'uld, even though biologically you are."**

**"The same could be said for you."** She sighs. "**But I understand your concern. First things first. The patient you brought. As you probably have surmised, I do not have a sarcophagus. I might have chosen to keep it, despite everything else, but I did not have to make that decision. It was destroyed when the former ruler was killed."**

**"So you used a healing device?"**

**"Yes. I have a - somewhat enhanced - healing device. I also have a number of drugs, as well as several other machines and devices which assist in healing. I have to take care of my people, after all."**

**"Commendable. How fares the patients?" **

**"Jacob and Samantha are both completely healed. They are currently resting, and will soon join us."**

**"Impressive. Your healing skills and your strength is great."**

**"Thank you."** She sighs. "**Their symbiotes are another matter. Their wounds were grave, and there were other problems involved, which hindered my use of a healing device. Selmak's immediate injuries are lessened."**

**"She is awake?"** Lantash asks.

**"She?" **Ria nods. "**I understand. ****She considers herself female, but had to take a male host. Unfortunate."**

**"But happens from time to time. We cannot always choose."**

**"Of course. Well, she will soon awaken. As I said, her immediate injuries are almost healed, but she has some underlying problems, in her code of life. They are interfering with her healing abilities, and even making it more difficult to heal her with a healing device. I am assuming something in the poisonous smoke in the crashed teltac has exaggerated the problems, making them acute quicker than they otherwise would have been."**

**"Will she survive?" **Lantash asks, concerned.

**"Yes, as I told you, they will all live...and not just for the time being., if that was your fear They will all be completely well. I have treated the problems in her code of life, but it needs time to stabilize, and until that has happened, she must take it slow and avoid stressing herself. It is important that she is not put in a situation where she has to heal herself or her host, for the next year or so. If would suggest she stays here until then, which would also allow me to monitor her."**

**"I doubt she will agree to that - and even less that Jacob will. We all wish to go home."**

**"You cannot go home for the next year or so anyway. The chaapa'ai is buried, and the dialing device is broken."**

**"It can be unburied, and the dialing device repaired." **Lantash insists. I agree with him. What is the reason behind all this?

**"Yes, but not right now. You see... the chaapa'ai is located on an island, and on it grows a plant which is very dangerous. It mutated from something it was exposed to in some of the weapons used by the previous ruler. The mutagen is long gone, but the result was that the plants puts out a scent during their flowering, which is a powerful hallucinogen for humans - and even affects symbiotes. The plants also became carnivorous, and when affected by the flowers scents, people will walk straight up to the plant and let themselves be eaten. The plants only flowers once every 20 years, but they flower for 15 months. The flowering started just over 3 months ago."**

**"That's...certainly convenient for your plan! Whatever it is!"**

**"You do not trust me? You are welcome to ask anyone you want to. You can even go to the island and check. With protection, a blended person can withstand the alluring scent from the flowers for some time. You should not go alone, though."**

**"I will check on it, be certain of that!"** Lantash says. We are both still a bit suspicious.

Ria sighed. "**Of course. I understand. In any case. Selmak will wake up within the next day, or sooner. She will be well enough to take control, and function, but should just not be exposed to the stress of healing anything major for the next year. After that she will be completely well again."**

**"That is good news indeed. What about my beloved Jolinar?"**

**"Her injuries are on their way to healing, but the rest of the healing must happen naturally, and slowly, I am afraid. She has suffered extensive trauma recently, correct?"**

**"Yes, she was almost killed by an ashrak, using a hara'kesh. It was a miracle she survived."**

Something we are very grateful of. The thought of Jolinar being dead, makes my heart hurt. I really hope this... Ria, speaks the truth. But why should she not.

Ria nods. "**That explains it, then. Her tissue is still affected by that damage, and she is also weak from recent host-changes. More than once within a year, I am guessing?"**

**"Yes."**

**"Then came this injury, which would have been dangerous, even for a fully healthy symbiote. In Jolinar's situation, it was life-threatening. She will live, though, and she will heal completely, but it will take time. It is necessary to let the healing be slow - at least as long as 7-8 months, maybe longer. The injuries affected her connection to her host, and her own brain. Were she to wake right now, she would have temporary amnesia, as well as hallucinate. She _must_ remain completely dormant."**

**"Because if she does not, Samantha will be pulled into the hallucinations. She will be unable to tell which memories are hers, and which are Jolinar's - and may even permanently forget some of her own memories." Lantash realizes with dread. **

**"Exactly. I have initiated the dormancy in her, and she will remain in that state until she has recovered. To Samantha it will be almost as if she is not there. Because of the limited connectivity Jolinar currently has to her host, her presence will only affect Samantha marginally. It is enough to keep Jolinar alive, and she will reblend instinctively upon waking, but Samantha will be almost like a human until then - at least like a human that had been a host. She will have higher tolerance to drugs, and heightened resistance to diseases - and since Jolinar _is_ present, decelerated aging, but she will not have rapid healing. Assume she is as vulnerable as a human to injuries."**

**"I...I understand." **Lantash is stunned, as am I.

Our poor Jolinar! She has only just recovered from one almost-mortal injury, and only just been allowed to stay in her host, when this happens! At least she will recover and be well again. Be herself again. We must focus on that - and help Samantha through this time. She has not been a host for long, but they are fully blended. It will be very hard for her. Most former hosts in her situation dies of loneliness or commits suicide, but the fact that Jolinar is still alive, and in her, should help her to get through it.

"**Now, I believe, it is time for me to explain who I am. First, it is obvious you, Jolinar, and Selmak are Tok'ra Do not try to deny it."**

**"We won't try to deny it. There is no reason to. May I assume you, too, are Tok'ra?"**

**"I am."**

**"I do not know your name, though. Were you a Goa'uld, and changed recently to become Tok'ra?"**

**"No, I was born a Tok'ra. Egeria is my queen-mother."**

**"Impossible! I am from Egeria's last clutch! She impressed the names of all other Tok'ra born before me, on me."**

**"I believe you. However, she had her reasons to keep my name from you. To keep me hidden. I am a queen, and as such, my existence had to be kept secret."**

**"A queen!"** Lantash looks at her, shocked.

**"Yes. I was hidden in a stasis jar on this world, more than 1000 years ago. I was only just mature when I was hidden, and had not yet had my first host. Shortly after Egeria had hidden me, politics changed and this world became worth conquering, where before it had not been. A Goa'uld took possession of the planet, but I was not found. However, most likely Egeria could not safely come to fetch me, and that is why I am still here."**

**"How...how did you come to be freed from your stasis jar?"**

**"It happened almost 120 years ago. There was an Earth quake, and my current host found my stasis jar, which had been uncovered. A curious young woman, she opened it. I thought she was offering herself, and jumped into her. After some time, we became friends, and she allowed me to stay. No one knew of me, except my host and her sister."**

**"Can you prove this? Of course the Tok'ra will be able to prove it, if you allow it, but right now we seems to be trapped here."**

**"I can - sort of - prove it. I have the stasis jar I was in, and it makes it clear the occupant was a born by Egeria. You may use the healing device to scan me, if you wish, so proving I am a queen, should be easy. If you do not believe it is my stasis jar, you will have to judge me on my actions here - or wait until we can again go through the chaapa'ai, and contact the Tok'ra."**

**"How did you come to be the 'goddess' of this world?"**

**"Well, some time passed, and I could not continue watching as a Goa'uld mistreated the people of this world. Together we started a resistance, which was eventually successful. The Goa'uld was removed from power, and killed, but not before a devastating war had killed much of the population near the chaapa'ai. The people was now free, however, and very grateful to me. They wished me to lead them, and after talking it over with my dear host Ti'vala, we decided to accept - we used the position to help them rebuild, and now to evolve and advance. I also use my abilities to heal as many as possible, letting the priestesses use the drugs I have made to heal the rest."**

We spend some more time talking to the Tok'ra _queen_. A daughter of Egeria! We are not in doubt that is who she is.

She is dedicated to helping this people, but upon learning of Egeria being missing, presumed dead, and that the Tok'ra are in need of more people, she agrees to go back with us, as soon as it will be possible.

The Tok'ra will have a queen again. It is so much more than we could have dreamed of!

Now we are waiting for Samantha and Jacob to awaken and then we will together return for the others in the hut. Ria has offered to let us stay here at the palace until we can return. We will probably accept that.

However, while we do trust Ria now, we would like to check out the island near the chaapa'ai. Maybe something can be done to limit the effect of those flowers. There is also our crashed teltac. Ria will have it brought to the palace, and then we will see if it can be repaired.

At least things are starting to look up. I still worry for Jolinar, but I am relieve that she will be well. Eventually. For now, we will help Samantha.


End file.
